Life is change.

Encouragement for the day :)

2011-08-03T10:12:00.003-06:00

Discouragement- Satan wants you to think you can't change, and that it is impossible for you to let go of old mindsets and habits. Don't believe him for a minute! Put your confidence in God and His Word. Believe what He has said about you, and know that when the knowledge of God's Word is on the inside of you, you will be equipped to make decisions that keep you on the path to change.
~Creflo Dollar~

When God calls you & puts that vision into your life, you must become DETERMINED that no matter what any one tells you; no matter what any demon of hell might say or do to you, you are going to keep walking through that valley holding on to the UNSHAKEABLE, ALL POWERFUL hand of God & you will experience complete victory. It doesn’t matter what man might say or what hell may say. It only matters what God is saying.
~Living Waters

Today you may not complete everything you set out to do; you may not finish every task on your list, but do not be discouraged. Thank God for the ability and grace that allowed you to conquer the things that you did! Take time and celebrate that in spite of all the obstacles placed in your way you woke up this morning and set out to accomplish something!
~TD Jakes

Today I pray for your relationships—that God would restore lost opportunities to you and the years and moments that have been stolen. I pray that He strengthens your connections with the people in your life and give you creative ways to show your love. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
~Victoria Osteen

On Aging Backward

2011-04-18T13:38:00.000-06:00

A great blog entry, thought I'd share:

On Aging Backward

One reason why we struggle so much with the Christian life as Christians is that we think that growing up in the faith involves becoming less dependent on God, that if I were really mature, I wouldn't be such a mess and so needy for Jesus. But in reality precisely the opposite is true. In God’s economy, we age backward. As you mature as a Christian, you become more like a child, not less. You’re born an “adult,” so to speak – relying on your own goodness and power and wisdom and strength to gain acceptance with God; it’s your natural inclination. But when you’re born again, you start aging backwards. As you mature, you become more like a child.

Now if you’ve been around the Christian faith for a while you might be thinking, “Wait a second! Isn’t the goal of sanctification (growth as a Christian) to become more like Jesus? Absolutely! But you have to listen carefully to what Jesus says: “I can do nothing by myself. I can only do what I see my daddy doing.”

Do you know where that’s from? That’s the gospel of John – John 5:19! And do you know what it means? It means that to become more like a child is to become more like Jesus. Or as Paul Miller in his phenomenal book, A Praying Life, puts it:

When Jesus tells us to become like little children, he isn’t telling us to do anything he isn’t already doing. Jesus is, without question, the most dependent human being who ever lived….[And] he is inviting us into his life of living dependence on his heavenly Father. When Jesus tells us to believe, he isn’t asking us to work up some spiritual energy. He’s telling us to realize that, like him, we don’t have the resources to do life....To become more like Jesus is to feel increasingly unable to do life, increasingly wary of your heart. Paradoxically, you get holier while you are feeling less holy. The very thing you were trying to escape – your inability – opens the door to…grace.

But this, as you know is completely counter-intuitive. It goes against the grain of our fallen nature. It swims upstream against the current of performance and achievement. And because of this we have a deeply ingrained aversion to our own weakness, to our own inner-child. Therefore we will always have a strong desire to resist our dependence and aim for self-reliance.

How can you overcome this? Look at Jesus dying on the cross for you! When you see Jesus dying for you, you will see that you must be desperately needy, like an orphan on the street; otherwise, it wouldn’t have cost the Father so much to bring you into his family. If you could have worked your way to God, Jesus died for absolutely nothing. Jesus' death proves that you are a child and need to be carried to the Lord. You can’t even walk to him!

And here’s what’s exciting: the people he welcomes are the people who feel their need of him. That’s all you have to bring - your desperate need!

So at the cross, see your need, and as you do, don’t run from it. Don’t try to make up for the lack that you see by an appeal to your adulthood – your goodness, your works, your intelligence, your strength, your power. Instead, embrace it! Pick up your weakness and powerlessness and inability to save yourself and bring it to Jesus. He’s saying, “That’s why I died and rose again for you!” Like the old hymn goes: All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need of him.

R W Glenn

We'll chat soon..

The genius of Prayer

2011-04-16T23:00:00.001-06:00

Got this yesterday but just now saw it in my inbox. LOVE IT! I think you will, too. Love you!

Daily Prayer Devotional

April 15, 2011

“So Moses went out from Pharaoh, and entreated the Lord.” Exodus 8:30

“So Moses cried out to the Lord.” Exodus 17:4

“And Moses returned to the Lord.” Exodus 32:31

“As My glorious presence passes by, I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by.” Exodus 33:2

The man who led his people to salvation and through whom they were delivered at the sea and in the wilderness was a praying man. He lived and walked and talked with God as a friend. In that march (more celebrated than any other in history) as he led an undisciplined horde through unparalleled difficulties to splendid success, at every turn he called upon God. Aside from our Lord’s intercessory prayer for His disciples, the grandest instance of that kind of petition ever made came from the heart and lips of this man Moses. Every miracle of his is born in prayer. He is clearly the greatest genius of his time, and yet in nothing more remarkable than in what, if one may reverently say it, may be called the genius for prayer.

- D. W. Faunce

How the world needs men today who shall be remarkable for their genius for prayer.

You Are Complete In Christ

2011-03-17T03:07:00.001-06:00

Sat down at the computer (sleep doesn't seem to be my friend tonight) and this was the first thing staring at me from Facebook..gotta say, I love it! Hope you all enjoy it, too.

You Are Complete In Christ
by Joseph Prince on Thursday, March 17, 2011 at 2:56am.

Colossians 2:10
10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

When you look at yourself, what do you see? Do you see someone who is imperfect and lacking in many areas, or someone who is whole and complete in Christ?

There are believers who see themselves as incomplete. This is because they are conscious of their lack and imperfections. They say, “There are so many things imperfect about me! How can I be complete if there are so many things I am lacking in?” They see their weaknesses, condemn themselves and feel inferior to others

The good news is that God does not see the way man sees. Man sees the flesh. God sees the spirit. He sees us already complete in Christ. In spite of our imperfections, He sees us as new creations, partakers of His divine nature and more than conquerors over our faults. And He wants us to see ourselves the way He sees us.

What we think we need or are lacking in, whether it is godly character traits or physical health, we already have in Christ.

I used to think that I had to ask God to make me more patient, until I realized one day that Jesus is my patience. Since then, I no longer ask God to make me wiser either, because Jesus is my wisdom. (1 Corinthians 1:30) I am not waiting to receive more healing because Jesus is my complete healing at this moment. And I am not yearning for peace and rest one day because Jesus is my peace and rest today. Right now, I have everything because I stand complete in Christ!

My friend, you are not going to be complete in Christ some day — you are already complete in Christ! And what remains for you to do is to walk daily in that completeness by believing that it is true and confessing that what you need right now, Jesus is to you. He is your complete forgiveness, complete righteousness, complete favor and complete protection.

So don’t focus on the lack you see in your life. Focus instead on how in Christ, you are complete in everything at this moment. And instead of weaknesses, lack and defects, you will see His strength, wholeness, soundness and completeness manifesting in you!

Thought Of The Day

Don’t focus on the lack in your life. Focus on how in Christ, you are complete in everything at this moment!

We'll chat soon...

Just be YOU.

2011-03-02T13:14:00.003-07:00

God will help you be all you can be, but he will never let you be successful at becoming someone else.
-Joyce Meyer-

I just LOVED this, and really wanted to share it with all of you. Love you lots!

We'll chat soon..

1 Peter 2:1-5

2011-02-28T11:28:00.003-07:00

1 Peter 2:1-5 (Amplified Bible)

1SO BE done with every trace of wickedness (depravity, malignity) and all deceit and insincerity (pretense, hypocrisy) and grudges (envy, jealousy) and slander and evil speaking of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies you should crave (thirst for, earnestly desire) the pure (unadulterated) spiritual milk, that by it you may be nurtured and grow unto [completed] salvation, 3Since you have [already] tasted the goodness and kindness of the Lord. 4Come to Him [then, to that] Living Stone which men tried and threw away, but which is chosen [and] precious in God's sight. 5[Come] and, like living stones, be yourselves built [into] a spiritual house, for a holy (dedicated, consecrated) priesthood, to offer up [those] spiritual sacrifices [that are] acceptable and pleasing to God through Jesus Christ.

Update, Update, Read All About It!

2011-02-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

Howdy, friends!

So it's been a long weekend, but a good one! Friday we can't really remember, but we DO remember that it was busy and that we were tired. (All of us are sitting here trying to figure it out haha) Oh, and Ash was feeling sick. Boo!

Saturday, we got up bright and early to get ready for J's 9th birthday party! He was so excited. Chris was down browning the ground beef (puke) for the taco rings , and baking 2 cakes! What a great hubby he is. I just super love him. Meanwhile I was tidying up around the house, and being his faithful assistant. The kids worked on their chores..and my brother came over to install our "in the meantime" dishwasher! That was super fun. It's not very often I get to hang out with my bro all day. I was a happy girl. :) Then, before we knew it, it was time to get showered and ready for the party! So I ran upstairs and got ready..just in time to start throwing taco rings into the oven. We had a huge turn out for the party, lots of laughs, and most importantly of all..J had a wonderful time and felt very special.

Then this morning, I got up early and finished cleaning up from the party..then Chris took us all to breakfast at Elmer's! We haven't been there for breakfast as a family in years. It was great. Then we just went messing around town, looking at stuff..buying a few things (you know, the fun stuff..tea, vitamins, coffee, brownies), and of course there was a stop at Starbucks. OH! And we saw Chris' grandparents at Target! How cute that they were out shopping. :) Then we came home and rested for the rest of the afternoon. Now? We're watching The Oscars! It's such a great awards show..something that the whole family can REALLY watch together! How refreshing is that. :) Of course, now that I've said that..it will change. I don't enjoy the hosts, but the show is still great.

Well, tomorrow starts a new week, and we will embrace it with all that we have. :) Because, ladies and gents, it means we are one day closer to spring break, and then SUMMER break! YEEEHAW!

Have a wonderful week..it is what you make it. Really. We can't force others to change, but we can change ourselves. Love you much!

We'll chat soon..

Thoughts on paper..

2011-02-24T13:49:00.001-07:00

Seems there's so much muck out there these days. Complaining, striving to achieve useless goals, calling people pleasing something else just to make it look prettier, hatred, depression, whining, etc. Why? Is it maybe the weather? Doesn't seem so. Because it seems to be running across all lines..snow lovers to sun lovers..people who are single and loving it, to people who are married and hate it..and everything inbetween. Young to old. Republicans and Democrats..those with jobs and those without jobs. Those happy with the political climate and those who aren't. Those with religion and those without.

So, that pretty much leaves it at a heart issue, don't you think? If there's one thing we know, it's that misery loves company. And it won't give up until it finds some. And then that new misery needs to find another misery..kind of like a multi level marketing program. You're miserable? Great! Just find 3 more people like you, and then those 3 people find 3 more! It's great! Before you know it, you're whole social network will be operating in misery! Together we will conquer the world!

Gross.

Where'd the love go? Where'd the passion for life go? Where'd the faith go? Where'd the useful ambition go? Where did the sold out love of God go? Where'd the passion to love others above ourselves go? I'm just curious.

Seems that more and more I sit back and watch the people I love turn their focus inward. And not in a good way. It seems to be more of me, me, me and less of Him, Him, Him. Who we are means nothing if we don't have Him at the center. He said we must give up our lives in order to gain real life. But so many seem to be clinging on to a useless shell of a life, instead of giving it up and receiving the full life that has been offered. The full life is sitting there on the table, in a lovely leatherbound book. But we keep walking by it...and walking by it...and walking by it...and then wonder, why is my life falling apart? Why? Because we can't survive without living water. Not physically and certainly not spiritually.

The world is a beautiful mask covering up a festering wound. But if our spirit eyes aren't on, we can't see past the mask into what is real.  We get so caught up in the sweet aroma of deceit that the stench of the festering wound beneath eludes us. Like a moth to the flame, burned by the fire, right? Mesmorized by death. Pinch yourself, wake up from the dream. Get your eyes back in focus. It's the enemy's job to steal, kill, and destroy. No one will willingly let that happen, so the enemy comes in as a sweet treat. And before you know it, you have been destroyed, the death IV firmly planted in your vein.

My goal is not to preach, condemn, hurt, confuse, or judge. My goal is more to just get my thoughts out on cyber paper. Because these struggles are ones I face as well.  Everyone does, whether they admit to it or not. So, take the post for what it is. It's not a personal jab at you, whoever you are.

Turning towards Facebook...I don't feel like I can express many of my thoughts on Facebook, because everything gets twisted, fights start, debates go on for days. Facebook is a double edged sword. On one hand it's amazing b/c I wouldn't be able to communicate with so many of my friends were it not there. On the other hand it seems to be a killer. It's no longer a place where you can post what you feel and have it be taken as genuine. It now seems that it's assumed with every post that there is an underlying jab at someone/something. Why? Are we that wrapped up in ourselves that literally everything all of our 300 "closest friends" post could be aimed at us and/or our beliefs? I just don't think so. And it's certainly not the case in my posts should you ever wonder. If I want to aim something at you, I'll go ahead and post it on your page. If I post something on my page, it's 99.9% of the time because it's something I am dealing with. I just feel like sometimes FB is like a 3rd grade playground.

My heart breaks when I read much of the stuff that is Facebook. And I really think His does, too. I know that everything I say isn't perfect, nor will it ever be. I'm not perfect, not even close. I say some stuff that I wish I could hit delete not only on my page but in everyone's mind. We all have those days. I can't and won't claim to be any better than the next guy. But, I'm gonna be careful what I post on FB. I'm gonna think about what I say before I say it. I'm going to be slow to anger and quick to love. Those are my goals. Will I fail sometimes? Absolutely. But, I'm just telling you now, I am making an effort to achieve my goal. And I'm gonna keep making that effort until I get to another level of victory. I'm determined to figure out how to love even better than I do now. Because He loves me with an agape love, and asks me to show that same agape love to everyone else. If I have not love, I have nothing.

Anyway..I guess I just am worried.   It seems we've realized we can't trust humans, but at the same time we've come to the conclusion that we can't trust God either. That we have to go ahead and do His job for him and lay out all of the judgements on our own. And that's so sad.  He really doesn't need our help. He's got it all covered. He see's what's going on, He's not turning a blind eye. He won't be mocked. But let's not pretend that the life He chose for us is the life He chose for someone else. We do have a similarity in that the life He chose for us is one where we all follow His word, His truth, and His path. But we are all parts of a body, and all parts function differently. We need not try to live up to anyone elses calling, or judge their season in life. If we choose to simply stay focused on our path and His word, I believe we will begin to see a great change in the lives of those around us.   Only when we can learn from our past and our sin can we help those around us who are struggling with the same things. If we've never been there, we can't identify. Our past/present struggles are a tool that can be used to bring others back to life. But, we have to submit to His authority in order to come out of it (sin) and become someone who can help to restore others.

We are what we eat. And what we eat is digested and then turned into fertilizer. That fertilizer is spread out all over our territory. So, what kind of fertilizer are we using? What kind of territory are we creating? Our choices in no way will ever EVER EVER only affect US. Our choices will always ALWAYS ALWAYS affect our entire territory. You can't turn on a hose full blast and expect only one drop of water to fall out. You are a life changer. The question is, how do you want to change the lives you affect. And is the change you're handing out one that lines up with the Word? Is it change that brings about life, or death? Don't leave your friends dying on life support when you could change your heart/fertilizer and bring them back to life.

Human nature is tricky. I won't pretend to understand it. I won't pretend to understand why we fight against peace, love, and joy. I know we live in a fallen world. I get it. I just don't understand why we fight for misery when we could surrender for joy. That's all.

Just a lil update..

2011-01-25T17:31:00.005-07:00

Well, we are officially in second semester now. YAY! Half way through another year. Both kids ended with good grades, besides one pesky math grade. But, hopefully that will raise up this semester so that the ending overall grade will be a good one.

Ash is now eaves dropping on conversations being held in spanish when we are in public. It's kind of funny. She likes to update me on what they are talking about. For instance, she found out one ladies Gramma was in the hospital, and she also made out the room number. But she didn't hear what she was in for. Well heck! I wanted to know if their Gramma was gonna be ok! Apparently the lady didn't sound upset, so maybe it wasn't life threatening..or maybe she hated her Grandma. Well, we will never know.

J is kickin butt in Taekwondo, will be testing to move up to another belt next week. When that boy focuses, he is a force to be reckoned with!

Both kids (and Chris) are loving dancing to the Kinect. They go crazy. Ash is using it as her PE for school now, and says she's growing muscles. Wouldn't be surprised, she's super good at it!

Anyhoo, I don't really have much else to say, so I'll sign off. But, I love ya! And that never changes. Remember, it's your life, don't let anyone else determine how much joy you have. Joy is a decision, so it's not affected by circumstance. Choose joy, and then walk it out.

We'll chat soon..

Merry Christmas 2010!

2010-12-19T00:18:00.003-07:00

It's been another very eventful year for our family. Go figure! Here's a bit of what happened..

Ashley, started high school (and outgrew her MOTHER!! urg)! She spent a week or so at the high school in town and quickly decided that the life there wasn't for her. So she joined her brother in Connections Academy, an at home Charter School (we call that home school, C.A. doesn't)! After a little period of adjustment to the added requirements of this school, she fell into place and loves it. She's part of the Student Council, is the 9th grade Class Representative, and has joined the Pen Pal Club. As usual, she is making lots of school friends, and was ecstatic when her friend,Missa, joined Connections Academy this year as well. Ashley loves drawing, any kind of art, puzzles, music, dance-off's with her Aunt Laura, and snuggling with her Sadie girl (the dog). Ashley was also able to go compete in the National Fine Arts Competition, in Detroit! Ash worked so hard to get there between fundraisers, letters to family, and manual labor. She had an amazing time, and thanks all of you for your contributions. It meant the world to her, her life will never be the same after having had this amazing experience.

Jaden is now in 3rd grade, and second year of Connections Academy. He loves that his sister is home doing school with him and Mommy. Jaden is a member of the Pen Pal program at school, as well as the Robotics club. He LOVES field trips! Jaden was also very excited when his 2 friends, Gabe & Daniel, joined Connections Academy this year. Jaden loves going to the library, and the bank (free popcorn). He also still loves to draw, and anything else that could classify as art. Jaden loves playing with his cousins, and working with Grampie and Uncle Jon on the ranch. He's growing like a weed, and will probably outgrow us in a few years! He is still active in Taekwondo as well, and is excelling. He is now a Camo belt, and considering joining the Leadership Program.

Chris had a very busy year with work, the time spent in the office has increased quite a bit. Who knew that was possible!? But, we are so thankful that he is employed and acknowledged for his efforts. Speaking of rewards...His employer sent us both (no kids allowed) to the World Series this year, all expenses paid! It really put a smile on his face like we hadn't seen in awhile. Being recognized for a job well done is priceless. He also hosted quite a few basketball/game nights here at the house, played in a church softball league, participated in another awesome "Wing-off" competition, and hosted a few poker games. In his spare time (haha), he was involved with endless fundraising, and helped coach a drama team into the National Fine Arts Competition in Detroit, Michigan! They had a great time, an experience that won't be forgotten. He is so grateful for your contributions towards the trip.

Sarah is still home full-time, working on school with the kids takes up most of her days. It's not all sunshine and giggles, but it comes pretty close. If nothing else, it's extremely rewarding. She wouldn't trade this time for anything. Sarah started walking even more this year, before she knew it the normal quick 15 minute walks turned into 9 mile walks! She spent lots of time at the pool, and cheering Chris on at his softball games. She enjoyed a few camping trips this last summer, constant bbq'ing, game nights with friends, and lots of evening bike rides. Sarah adores time spent with all of her nieces and nephews, and the rest of the family. She dabbled in a few crafts, really got into her word searches/crosswords, and enjoyed a LOT of desserts. ;)

As a family, we have grown so much closer this year. Our home knows more joy, and is filled with even more giggles. We are so thankful for the time the Lord has given us, and for the friends who share their lives with us. We've also faced many challenges, and have had to say goodbye to things, and people, we hold dear. But, the Lord is ever faithful to lead us into new territory with grace, hope, and promise of a beautiful future. Our love for Him grows deeper by the day.

We pray that you all have had a wonderful year, and that the coming year will be even better. May the Lord bless you as you continue to seek His face. There's no better place to be, than in His arms.

With love,

Chris, Sarah, Ashley, and Jaden Mendiola

To see His face..

2010-12-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

Prayer, Sarah Palin, World Series, School & Holidays! Oh my!

2010-11-16T14:04:00.002-07:00

The last month or so has been so filled with loss, tragedy, sadness, and struggle. It seems every time I turn around I get a text/email/call from someone asking for prayer for something serious. Really makes me realize, even more than normal, time is short. Make sure the ones you hold dear know you love them, and that they are valued. You just never know when your time with them will end, but one thing is for sure..it will be sooner than you'd like. As you think about it, please be praying for those who have lost loved ones, or are struggling through disease, life altering instances, etc. When we pray for others we open up all of Heaven. Let's open up all of Heaven together, and ask for peace to rain down upon the Lord's people.

School has been a bit rough, not even gonna try to sugar coat it for you. This year is when they want us 3rd grade learning coaches to start pulling back in our involvement as far as school tasks go. It's quite the adjustment for us. Where we used to get to work through everything together, he now has to sit for much of the time figuring out things on his own, etc. The hard part for me is, I know if I would just read something to him (he's a very good reader, that's not the point), or re-word something, he would get it right away. But, instead I have to sit back and let him try to weed through it on his own and come to his own conclusions. Then helping him after that. The teachers tell us Learning Coaches that this is a huge transitional year for all 3rd graders, so to expect it to be a bit of a struggle. Anyway, I do see progress so that is encouraging. But, not only does it frustrate the teacher side of me, it hurts the Mommy side of me. He needs me less and less. In some ways I welcome that. In others, I resist it. But, he must grow into the young man he's intended to be, without the umbilical cord.

Ash is doing really well with her classes, and is very involved with student council as well as other clubs and activities. Math, I think, may always be a struggle. But she's giving it her best, and that's all we ask for! I'm in no way a math genius, so I can understand the frustration caused by not excelling in it.

Chris has been working his butt to the bone, as usual. But, we are ever increasingly thankful that he has a job, times are hard. HP (his employer) took the 2 of us (no kids!) on an all expense paid trip to game 3 of the World Series. It was AMAZING! Truly the trip of a lifetime. We got to go with a group of other people who also worked on the account that got picked for the trip. We shared lots of laughs, great food, and made the most awesome memories. We even got to meet, and hang out with, Hank Aaron! We also got to see President and Laura Bush, and Nolan Ryan. Oh, and Kelly Clarkson! I mean, come on. Really? I'm pretty sure this is a trip we will never, ever forget.

We watched the first of 8 episodes of Sarah Palin's Alaska the other night. Wow, Alaska is gorgeous. Breathtaking, really. I must go there sometime.

I'm gearing up for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is "my" holiday..no traveling, just staying home with my family and having that quality time that we never get any other time of year. Some think it's selfish. And, maybe it is. But, I guess I just don't care. It is very rare that my family gets to come together for time without limits. And this is our time to do that. Every year is also one I fear will be the last with my beloved Gramma. I love my time with her. She's threatened not to come this year, she's being stubborn and saying she will stay in the retirement home for the day. I, as usual, tell her she has a seat waiting for her. So far she's always shown up and had a wonderful time. We shall see if she graces us with her angelic (haha) presence this year. I'm sure she will. If not, I promise to only ugly cry in private.

I'm actually feeling kind of excited for Christmas this year. Not sure why, but I am. I even have Christmas music playing right now. Can you flippin believe it! I can't. We think we are going to get a real tree this year. Ash is very excited for it. Jaden is threatening to move out due to the fire hazard it creates. And such is life in the Mendiola home.

I bought our Christmas cards last night. I am trying to decide if we will include a letter in with it this year, or not. Your thoughts?

Well, J is almost done with his math work so I better wrap this up. I pray you are all well, and finding many reasons to smile. I know it's become cliche, but I just want to say, "Jesus loves you." Because, He does. So very much. Be blessed my friends.

We'll chat soon..

Back pain, home school, mosaics, and Tom Selleck

2010-10-01T13:56:00.000-06:00

Threw my back out, again. So..what better thing to do with my bedridden state than blog? Not much. :)

The kids are both doing homeschool now, have I mentioned that? They are doing great. Ash thought it was really hard the first week, but she's gotten into a groove now and is learning how to navigate the system. Taking advantage of the live lessons, and even meeting some of her classmates, and running for student body positions!

I'm thinking of starting up a mosaics club of some sort. Maybe meet at my house once/month in the garage and just enjoy making things. I enjoy doing things where I get to smash junk and turn it into something beautiful. No wrong designs, no wrong way to do it. I know of a few people who are also interested, so it could be fun. I know Ash and I want to do it! So, even if no one else shows up, we'll still have fun. :)

Well, I suppose I don't have much news to share. Hey, are any of you watching the new Tom Selleck series? It's great!

Take care of yourself, I love you!

We'll chat soon..

When Life Hurts Most

2010-09-25T19:16:00.002-06:00

Anchored To Hope: When Life Hurts Most from Lifepoint Church on Vimeo.

He said..

2010-09-20T14:54:00.004-06:00

I keep hearing lately, "I just don't understand what the Lord is doing." "I don't understand why He is letting this happen." "I don't understand why He won't just..." "I really think I'm doing what He wants me to do, so why is He making this so hard?" "I'm really frustrated with what's happening" .................. (I've said a few of these myself!)

Let's not let the enemy fool us into believing that it was the Lord who let us down in situations. Jobs, friends, churches, lovers, bills, etc. It wasn't Him. The Lords plan is the same always, and it's a firm plan. He clearly said: MY plan for you is GOOD. I have not planned a disastrous future for you. I HAVE a HOPEFUL future planned for you. Line your desires up with my Word, let your actions line up with those desires.

He was also sure to tell us: In this world you WILL have trouble. But, don't freak out! I've overcome that troublesome world!! I understand what you're going through, I've been there and then some! Come to me, and I will comfort you and give you peace. I will always be close to you. Even closer than your brother. Please don't focus so much on the things that go wrong. Just focus on all of the wonderful things you have, focus on Me, and everything else that is lovely and pure. Don't let yourself get bogged down with this worldly junk, it's all temporary. I am eternal. Hide in me. Together we will soar!

He told you: I have to go away for awhile, but I will be with you in Spirit. I'm gonna prepare a magnificent place for you. Don't go thinking that I've orphaned you, ok? You're NEVER alone. Even though you won't see me in person for awhile, don't think I've forgotten. It’s gonna get rough down there, but don’t be scared. I am still keeping my promise to you, I'll be back. And, when I come back, I will take you with me! Hold on, soon you and I will be together in My Father's house for forever. It's going to be GREAT!

He said: Will you do something for me while I'm preparing our new home? Will you please prepare for our move? That way, when I come back you will be ready. Don’t forget me, and I won’t forget you. There will be some people who try to lead you astray..There will even be some people who will try to make you think that they ARE Me! So, make sure you know my voice. Oh, and make sure your friends are ready too. I don't want you to have to move to our new home without them, I know they are important to you. And, they are important to me, too! Make sure you know where we're going, and why. And, please don't store up too many treasures there. You won't need them here. I already have more than enough treasure for you to enjoy. Just focus on our upcoming move, and remember, even on the hard days (and they will get hard) when you think I might be too busy for you, I'm not. Just call my name, and I'm there for you. My eye is always on you. I know your name. I know every little hair on your precious head, even the one's you’ve lost. :) I formed you in your Mother's womb, how could you think I would forget such a magnificent thing! I love you, yesterday, today, and forever.

He said: Don't put your hope in men, ok? They can't save you. Put your HOPE in me. I CAN save you. If you put hope in men, they will fail you. Why? Because you guys weren't created to be perfect. That's why you have Me! I do want you to seek WISE council, but I don't want you putting your hope in man, ever. Seek WISE council, and test the spirits. There are so many out there that are claiming to be wise, but they aren't. My words and truth are the same, always. I don't change. I am steadfast. Come to me when you are weary, and I will give you rest. I give you peace. It's free. So please don't try to pay me back for the gifts I've given you. Gifts are free. You invited me to live in your heart, and so I did! Now let me give you things! I love to give you things. I've given you SO much, have you stopped to notice?

He said: Wear your armor. Use your tools. When we go into battle together, we can't lose. So, don't forget to take me with you! The battle will be long and nasty, but in the end, I win. And if you are with me, you win, too. So, stay with me, k? I'll keep you safe, don't worry.

....so....why are we complaining again? ...why are we taking out our earthly frustrations on Him? He's never left us. He's given us everything we need. He's preparing something fantastic for us. He's still here for help. He's coming back to bring us home with Him. He's fulfilling every promise He's ever made, why do we doubt?

When we complain, we are saying He isn’t enough. He didn’t do enough. He didn’t give us enough. He isn’t powerful enough to fulfill the desires of our hearts. And, I don’t want to say those things about my Savior. He IS enough. In EVERYTHING, He is enough. FOR everything, HE is enough. THROUGH everything, HE is enough.

Though people and things will fail us, He won't. And though we may not understand all that life brings us, we can understand that His plan for us is secure and GOOD. We can rest knowing that He has it all under control. Just have to keep things in the right perspective, and have eternal vision.

We'll chat soon..

Just Give Me Jesus

2010-09-08T10:06:00.001-06:00

I keep wanting to update..but the words don't come (not necessarily a bad thing!). Instead, I will share this video with you. It's one of my most favorites of all time. Have listened to it for years. And, on the bad days, I listen to it on repeat. It's filled with hope and truth. And those are two things I just LOVE. :) Life is good. And His plan is perfect. You have to trust in that. Remember to smile, I love you.

So, I'm a rambler..deal with it. :)

2010-07-29T13:32:00.000-06:00

So..life is interesting. It's been busy. My patience is on a short fuse..but maybe that's not true. I think I have a lot of patience, but it's finally starting to run out. Perspective. Regardless, God is good! More than good, FANTASTIC. Always.

Chris and Ash leave for Detroit on Sunday. Mom n Dad left for Seattle today. J and I are leaving for Kuna on Sunday..oh wait, we live here. ;) Well, it's not a vacation, but it will be different. And, you KNOW I'm gonna try to find time (and money) to paint..and maybe a fire pit is in my future. Shhh..

Changes are coming, I'm very excited, but sad..really sad. I just wish that things could have been different. But, to everything there is a season. And when one season ends another one begins. I can either embrace the new one or waste time dwelling on the old one and miss the beauty of the new one. It's been a long time coming..and I do mean LONG. We tried to make the change in our own timing, but the Lord had other plans. Now, it's His timing and we are thankful for waiting. Although, it doesn't meant it's easy. It's actually one of the hardest, yet easiest, decisions we've ever made. I know for some this sounds vague..for others it's clear. Regardless, please be praying for us as we welcome in our new season. Pray for understanding, peace and new found joy. The Lord knows His plans for us..and we trust fully in His capability to make that future a wonderful one. As I write this Kirk Franklin and his choir are chanting, "It's gonna be a brighter day! Brighter day!" Perfect timing. :)

Chris and I are getting ready to celebrate FIFTEEN years of marriage!!!!!!!! Holy crap. I still remember people, even on our wedding day, murmuring that we wouldn't make it a year. And for the first few years we survived pretty much just to prove them wrong..yet we were falling apart. And the few years after the first few were even worse than the first few! Haha But the last 9 years have been blissful. Better every day. I just adore the man the Lord made for me. Couldn't have asked for a better friend or husband or daddy for our kids. I am truly blessed beyond measure. My cup runneth over and over and over and over..

Ash is starting high school next month. EEEEEEEK! Lord be with us, and her. I pray she is a light in the darkness.

J's books just arrived for 3rd grade a few days back. We were SO excited! I'm excited for another year with him. I will cherish it for as long as the Lord allows. (lump growing in throat) Who knows, that could be just another week or so. :) I tell ya, I'm learning all sorts of new things lately. Every time I think I have the Lord figured out, He goes and shows me something new.

Ashley just came in and described to me the process of "Doing the sponge"...I'm confused, but amused. She's a funny girl.

We went camping a few weeks back...J got baptized while we were there. It was so sweet. His friend, Delainey, got baptized, too. I have lots of pics. If you want them, let me know, I'll email them to you! We're hoping to go again..but will be going with family. We hope! We're all so busy we haven't had time to see each other much less get a weekend together.

Well, the enemy has been attacking from all directions, but the Lord's army has been quick to defend us/me. It's interesting how when you get in His will, the devil just hates it! :) Oh, I need to find something..hold..ok got it! I'm a fan of the Living Waters Facebook page. And, the other day (much like most days) they had something that I LOVED:

"Let’s bring Satan into perspective. Satan means "Arch enemy of good, and accuser" SATAN IS: Fallen, Defeated, Nothing on his own, Small, Ignorant, Weak. HE WILL NEVER FIGHT YOU AT YOUR STRONGEST MOMENT-Rather he will wait until your weakness is shown. REALITY: He is a coward, a liar, and a thief. THE BIBLE SAYS: Satan ...is "AS" a roaring lion, he is really a little kitten with an amplified voice."

And then, this lady left this comment, which I ADORED!!:

My mom had a dream a few years ago that she was being chased by a giant lion (in the dream she knew it was Satan)...she ran while he chased her and she climbed up a tree. She cowered on the branch and hid her face in terror. God spoke audibly to her and told her to look down at the lions face. She begged God in fear not to ask her to look, but when she did.....he was skinny and weak, as if sickly. He weakly roared at her a pathetic roar and she noticed as he did he HAD NO TEETH! PRAISE GOD! The Word says that Jesus disarmed principalities on the cross! The battle is not ours but the Lords and the victory is also His!

I thought that was pretty cool. The enemy can and will attack, but he only has as much power as you allow him to have. You have the power to cast the devil out. And, The Lord is quick to send in the troops when you call upon His name. We must not grow weary. He IS coming. But, and I've been talking about this with Ash lately, If we don't know the voice of the Father, we have no hope of knowing the voice of the Liar. If we don't know the truth, we won't be able to tell when we are being lied to. It's so important to know The Word. Know who and what you believe in. Don't put yourself in the position to be deceived. Time is short. And the Enemy is pulling out all of his nasty tricks and putting on all of his pretty masks, parading around as someone to believe in..to look up to..to be like. If you don't know JESUS, you won't know when He's being impersonated. It's time to get intimately acquainted with Daddy.

So .. I like to swim. And, I'm considering going swimming today. But, I'm tired. And laundry needs to be done. Hmm..decisions, decisions.

I made focaccia bread for the first time yesterday! It was DELICIOUS!!! I want to make it everyday. But, then I will eat it everyday. And, that's not the best choice. So, I won't. Thankfully, it takes about 24 hours to make, so it's not an impulse make. That's good for me.

I also like Maple Bars.

Ok, I'm rambling, and obviously hungry. Better go for now. But, I love you. And, yes, I realize this blog is disjointed and rambling-ish..but that's what I do. :)

We'll chat soon..

Playing with the blog

2010-07-28T00:40:00.001-06:00

Loving my new banner/header..not sure about the background..hmm Wish I could find the background that goes with this header!

Anyway, hope you are all having a lovely week. Love you lots!

We'll chat soon..

God is in the "excepts"

2010-07-25T10:06:00.006-06:00

I got this from the Living Waters Facebook page yesterday..they always have amazing thoughts to share:

‎"When you think you have nothing, begin to remember the excepts in your life. I have nothing, except, a couple of dollars, I have nothing except the clothes on my back, I have nothing except an automobile to drive, I have nothing except a roof over my head. You see it’s not in the nothings that God works, but God is working in the exceptions."

We have to shift our focus off of the crap surrounding us and instead focus onto the blessings drenching us! Don't open your door this morning and step over the blessings in order to get to the complaining. Instead, stop and enjoy the blessings. They're yours! And before you know it, all of those complaints will be meaningless. You ARE blessed. ♥

Have a great day! Love you lots.

We'll chat soon..

Always Enough

2010-07-07T12:42:00.000-06:00

Always Enough

In a dry and weary land
Lord, You are the rain
In a sea of shattered ones
Your love comes rushing in

You hold the world within Your hands
And see each tear that falls
Through every fire and every storm
You're always enough, always enough

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan, strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations, rings out through the ages
And You're always enough for me

You keep my heart in perfect peace
My life is in Your hands
When confusion hides my way
You're always enough, always enough

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan, strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations, rings out through the ages
And You're always enough

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me
God on high, He has set me free
And worthy is the Lord

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me
God on high, He has set me free
And worthy is the Lord

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan, strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations, rings out through the ages
And You're always enough for me

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan, strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations, rings out through the ages
And You're always enough

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me
God on high, He has set me free
And worthy is the Lord

In a dry and weary land
Lord, You are the rain

He's got my whole world in His hands

2010-07-03T02:33:00.001-06:00

Loving this video right now. It pretty much sums up everything I really want to say. But, you know I'll ramble on a bit before I go..

So, I'm wanting a new layout. Tired of this one. It was intended to be temporary after I completely toasted the last one on accident. Remember? Well it just sorta kept staying and I kept letting it. I need a new one!!!!!!!!!! I'll do it..really, I will.

Fireworks booth is almost done. I can't complain about it because others have done much, much more work on and with it than I have. But, I will enjoy having one more thing checked off of the "to-do" list for summer.

Camping is coming up rapidly. We sat and figured out a menu for it today. I'm excited. Hoping my back is better by then so I can sleep on the air mattress without having to take my chiropractor with me. Hmm..not a bad idea just in case. haha

Speaking of the ol' back..as most of you know (if we are FB friends), I threw my back out on Tuesday. No bueno. It's all jacked up from my fall in April (The garage incident, remember?). Doc says that it's mostly due to stress and then the kicker was the fall. So, I have to go 3 times a week for awhile. I was like oh my Lord how will we ever pay for that..and honestly was only going to go until I felt better and then not ever go again. Cuz that's just how I am. Cheap. Now, if it were one of my kids I'd take them as long as need be. Yes, I know..I am just as valuable. Got it. Thanks (Swede).

Anyhoo..I was sitting in the office hearing the cost and time frame. Chris sitting next to me. She gives us the numbers, I want to cry. Then she says, "BUT!" And shows me some account HP has for us that pays for stuff! We don't pay into it. They do it for us I guess. I don't really know. We never use the insurance cuz we don't go to the doc. So this was a surprise to me/us. SO, I don't have to pay a penny :) YAY! So then I almost started crying out of joy and thankfulness..but I refrained. Cuz crying hurts right now..as does sneezing, yawning, yelling, laughing, breathing deeply, swallowing, etc. I've tried it all. No likey. Anyhoo..we got in the car and I told Chris I was just so happy and thankful. He said, "Babe, I told you not to worry about it. That it would work out, that it always does. That you just needed to have faith." I said, "Oh I DO have faith, it was just the mustard seed kind." haha

For some reason I have a much easier time trusting and having faith in huge things..but struggle with the little things. I've always been that way. Don't know why. I'll work on it.

Anyhoo..can't sleep. It's almost 2:30. Wide awake. It hurts to sit here. But it hurts to lay down, too. And, it feels nice to sit here and pretend that I'm doing something normal and not something due to being in pain..like laying around. Although I have immensely enjoyed the whole laying around thing. :) I said on Facebook today, I prayed for a vacation and it came. Just not exactly in the form I had envisioned. haha Regardless it's a vacation and I am enjoying the simplicity of it. Sit, ice, sit, ice, chiropractor, sit, ice, ..you get the idea. I really, REALLY want to rearrange the furniture downstairs though. Chris moved my recliner upstairs for me and now the downstairs looks even more bare and annoyingly bland than before! Oh well..all in time. I also wanna get our firepit dug out.

Well, I guess I don't have anything else to say. Love you bunches, though. And I'm really liking this scripture, so I'll leave you with it:

Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

We'll chat soon..

In the words of Elton John..I'm still standin'!

2010-06-23T22:24:00.003-06:00

I have the Elton John song, I'm Still Standing, playing in my head as I tried to think of a title for this blog entry..haha I love that song. Here it is, in case you wanna have it in your head too. :)

Just haven't felt like blogging. I have still been reading a few here and there and trying to stay somewhat caught up..sounds like everyone is having an eventful life! This is good. :0) Glad to hear it.

Life here is good, still busy..busier than ever, really. The Fireworks booth opens tomorrow at church..so our family will spend a lot of time down there. And drama practices for the Nationals trip are in full swing, so a lot of time is spent with that. And then we have softball..that takes up pretty much all of the rest of the little bit of time we had. I won't lie, I'm a little cranky. Don't get me wrong, I love all of these activities. I just miss my family. But, everyone else does, too. Supporting the youth is important, and we are glad to be part of it. We are looking forward to a great time of rest afterward, though. Anyway, if you need fireworks, come on out to Kuna Life Church and buy them! You will be supporting a good cause, and we'd love to see you!

I've been swimming at the neighborhood pool as I can..it's really nice this year. Water is a bit warmer. There are a lot more people there this year, though. Hmm..no likey. Don't they know it's MY pool? haha We've had some good times there so far. Hopefully I can get some time in this week to go..I like to find a time when everyone else is probably busy..lunch time...dinner time..nap time.. :)

Chris and the kiddos are well. Chris has been bogged down with work stress for 2 weeks, working tons of hours. Over 100 hours more than he should have had. These are times that I would really like to be back on hourly wage instead of salary! haha It all evens out in the end though..sort of.

The weather has been fabulous!!! Nice and warm, with a few fun storms mixed in too! The kids and I are loving it. As are the dogs. Speaking of dogs, Greta is still destroying. We should have named her Destruction instead of Greta. How such a tiny little animal can cause so much ruckus I will never know. She's soft and lovey though. I'll give her that! :) Her eyes are just precious.

We get to go camping next month with a bunch of close friends, I can't wait! Will be so fun to just get out of dodge for a few days and laugh and enjoy the outdoors.

We got to spend the whole day with Jess and her kiddos today out in Nampa. We were supposed to come back early but I ducked out of everything we were supposed to do so we could have more time. Sometimes you just have to do that. Enough is enough. We had a blast. It was a great, relaxing getaway.

Well, I'm gonna go eat some cake and have some time with the hubby. Have a great night. We'll chat soon..ish.

Take care of yourselves. Love you much.

I will leave you with this:

My dear, dear friends! I love you so much. I do want the very best for you. You make me feel such joy, fill me with such pride. Don't waver. Stay on track, steady in God. ~Philippians 4:1~

We'll chat soon..

Shaken, not stirred.

2010-06-07T15:58:00.008-06:00

Still in my season of silence..it's hard. It's hard to be quiet. And it's hard to hear the things I hear because of the silence. Somehow words aren't just words anymore. But, I can't offer anything but silence in most cases. The tears are always just a breath away, though. Not tears of sadness necessarily, although there are those too. Just tears that come with deeper understanding.

What has been especially hard is when someone says something that I SO want to respond to, it's like the Lord wipes my brain of any coherent words to offer. Leaving me with only the ability to listen. I find myself saying "hmm" a lot in conversations. Not because I really want to, but because the Lord is teaching me something in listening beyond the words. In listening for what HIS response is to the words being said, even if I'm not to share them with others. Maybe none of this makes sense to any of you. But maybe it does.

I also find myself asking, "Why, Father?" a lot. And in all different contexts. The answer comes quickly and clearly. "Everything that can be shaken will be shaken, daughter. Focus on Me, just Me." Sometimes I say, "Not now." And then I wish I hadn't. Other times I say, "Ok, Daddy." And in that moment of sheer obedience, even as the storm rages around me, I find peace beyond understanding. And I find rest, knowing that when all else fades (and it will), He will still be.

It's not time to have wandering eyes. It's time for our eyes to be firmly focused on Him. The enemy is hot in pursuit of anything it can get a hold of. Don't be deceived. Not everything is as it seems. As I've said before, just because something's changed doesn't mean anything is different. Sometimes it's just a new dress covering up the same old festering wound.

We were watching the season finale of Chuck last night and one of the characters said, "I don't want a brain bath..I want the truth." I couldn't have said it better.

Seek healing. It's yours. Seek truth. It's yours.

Check this passage out when you have a minute: Philipians 4 <-- click there. :)

Love you. We'll chat soon..

Neglected?

2010-05-25T22:42:00.007-06:00

I know, it's been pretty quiet around my blog home since going back to Facebook. But, really, I just don't have much I'm willing to talk about. I'm kinda in one of those "seasons" where it seems it's better if I say nothing at all. I'll choose to learn instead of speak. If that makes sense. Don't get me wrong, I still talk all the time (how could I not! haha). Just not about certain things. That's a stupid comment and seems vague and like I want you to ask but am not going to say it. Like I'm on a fishing expedition. But, I'm not. Sometimes it's just best to leave things unsaid. And offer thoughts, worries, joys, troubles, etc up to the Lord in prayer. He's best equipped to handle them anyway. :)

I know that paragraph will probably spur emails in my inbox asking if I'm ok. Please, believe me. I'm fine. Really.

Isn't it amazing how when we choose to be silent we can hear His voice so much clearer? It never ceases to amaze me how much we miss out on when we are too busy being loud. If we insist on making incessant noise, we can't expect to hear His voice. He speaks softly for a reason. So that we will be still, let the rest of the noise fade, and just give Him our full attention. Just as we would a new lover. He longs for you. Do you long for Him? I do. And I'm in a receiving mode. But in order to receive I have to give. And, right now, I'm giving my silence as an offering. Please, don't mistake it for anything else. I'm not growing complacent. I'm not being rude. I'm not depressed. I can't say that I am always joyful right now though. Cuz it's just not true. I have moments of joy, moments of introspection, moments of anger, moments of whatever else. There are a lot of changes going on right now, and I just need a bit to soak it all in and learn what the Lord wants me to learn in all of it. In growing, there are growing pains. I've been noisy, and now I'm choosing to be quiet.

He's been preparing me for this season for quite some time, and I'm so thankful for being in the spiritual place I'm in now instead of where I was a year ago. But I can't say I'm perfect. I've spouted off when I shouldn't have and kept quiet when I should have spoken up. I'm a human and my human flaws are evident. Thankfully, His grace covers it all. And His joy comes in the morning, over and over and over again. :) He's a fantastic Daddy, isn't He? Makes me smile whenever I think of Him.

Hmm..what else..I do have a new song that I love. I know, go figure! Here's a video of it..

Lyrics:

Gorgeous Face
Your face is what I long to see
Your eyes, piercing the depths of me

Come quickly, my Father
Your child is here waiting
Show me Your face
No more veil’s covering me
Burn me with pure love
So I can see
My Lord, my Lord

Awesome splendor
Glorious majesty
Faithful Father
Gorgeous face

© 2009 Rick Pino and Kari Jobe

Another cool thing..school is out for J and I on Tuesday!! Maybe earlier if we decide to do extra work. I can't wait for summer break! Yeeehaw!

I'll leave you with this:

NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, ^[a]the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. Hebrews 11:1 AMP

Take care of yourself. Don't forget to take time to listen. Love you.

We'll chat soon..

Ahhh Facebook, how I love thee

2010-05-15T09:19:00.003-06:00

So happy to be back on Facebook, I can't even tell you! Dang, I missed my buddies!! I didn't miss all of the dramatic junk..but oh well. I'll just focus on the good. :)

Anyway, if you get the chance, read Isaiah 42-43 in The Message. Um, amazing. I was all sorts of into that yesterday. Still am today, but you know what I mean. :)

I had a donut today. EEEEH! Donut, coffee, banana, strawberry. Yeah, just one strawberry. It was the size of 2. It was HUGE. I liked it. :)

How do YOU spell donut? Doughnut? Donut? I like donut. Doughnut seems too formal. And I don't feel formal when I eat donuts. I feel free when I eat donuts. :) And, just for the record, I don't usually even want donuts. But when the craving hits..oooh baby. "Me..Love..Donuts!" (<--cookie monster voice) I like to say "donut" a lot right now, can you tell? Sugar high!!!!!!!!!!

Getting ready to take Ash and Bradee down to the fundraiser car wash for their school. They have to be there for two hours. Then back here to get ready for the get together later. I have to vacuum. That takes a long time. About an hour. Stupid, stupid dog hair.

Fake people annoy me..just by the by. By the by, what a weird saying. Who came up with that. ANyway..if someone doesn't truly care, why bother asking? I mean seriously. Just shut the mother up and go ooze your fake junk on someone else. Just thought I'd add that in, for good measure.

The weather is GORGEOUS outside today! Oh my goodness, I am SO excited to be able to be outside whenever I want to! Without a jacket! Good weather, pleeeeease last. Well, have a wonderful Saturday everyone! I super love you and am so glad you are alive. Make the most of your life! ((hugs))

We'll chat soon..

Countdown to Facebook

2010-05-13T13:21:00.003-06:00

I have The Final Countdown song stuck in my head as I think of the last few hours of my Facebook fast.

Kinda funny..haha..Wow those boys were manly. LOL! Ok, enough of that.

Woke up this morning feeling light. Gosh it was nice. The heaviness of the past few days was gone. Thank the Lord. And thank you my friends for praying. The enemy sucks. We all know that. But the Lord is KING.

Watched my friends little son, Kenneth, this morning for a few hours. He was so much fun! Very well behaved and super happy. Was nice to see his Momma for awhile, too. They live in Pocatello so I don't get to see them very often. I'm hoping to be able to go up again for her birthday in June. I did last year and we had SO MUCH FUN! We shall see. :0)

The sun is out in all its glory today. The breeze is light. The air is perfect. I'm guessing somewhere around high 60's/low 70's but I'm not sure. Just feels great.

Ash and I are gonna start painting her room today. The color? Island Orange. It looks like .. well .. an orange. :0) She likes it. And it will brighten up her room quite a bit! haha Should be fun. I love to paint.

We will have Bradee with us all weekend! Also, this weekend we have basketball/dinner/games get together, a sleepover with friends, a fundraiser carwash for the girls' class, a graduation party to set up for and then attend, and maybe even a birthday party if I can get back in town early enough..also a softball practice and drama practice starts back up as well. Not quite sure how it will all fit in, but it will. And we will have a blast with almost all of it!

Well you guys have a wonderful Thursday. I'll see you on Facebook at midnight!!! Oh, and btw, unlike my magnificent TV fast which produced great things in me..the Facebook fast sucked from beginning to end. In the first few days I learned that I was using it as too much of an outlet for feelings instead of taking them to the Lord. Great, fixed that. The rest of the days just sucked because I spent a lot of time fellowshipping on FB, and studying the word to share and discuss with my friends, etc..and when I wasn't on FB, I didn't do those things. So, if anything my walk suffered a bit. So, what did I learn? My Facebook addiction isn't all bad. Just needs to be kept in line. Much like everything else in life.

Love you, we'll chat soon..

Before The Day

2010-05-12T12:15:00.002-06:00

Jen over at The Days I'll Remember posted this song on her blog this morning. Um, I fell in love. I've sent it out to pretty much everyone I can through email. But, I thought I'd post it here, too. Thanks, Jen! I'll post the lyrics, too. My video is different than hers, I found one that had an awesome thing written on it before the music starts.

Title: Before The Day
Artist: NewSong

Last night when I was sleeping
You were watching over me
While I dreamt about tomorrow
You knew my every need
Now another day is waiting
For me to make it through
And there's no way that I could face it without You
Before the day slips away
I want to stop and say
I love You I love You
Before the world rushes in again
I want to stop and say there's none above You
There's none above You
I'll just be still and know You are God
Be still and know You are God
There's something about the morning
The stillness of it all
It calms my heart to hear You
When You gently call
Here I am in Your presence
Where I long to be
Alone with You in the silence
Bring down Your love and Your mercy
Whisper softly to me

Victory is on the way :)

2010-05-10T17:06:00.008-06:00

Sometimes the storm knocks you down. Sometimes the fight seems too hard.

But, when the storm rages, work with the gusts, don't quit! Even in the storm, there is beauty. Are you willing to see it? It might require a change in perspective. Instead of letting the storm knock you down, use it to gain strength. Endurance.

The wind might beat at your back, and the rain might pelt your face. Use the wind to soar, and the rain to cleanse.

Grow, prepare and be ready. So that when the sun breaks through the clouds and the rainbow spreads across the sky, you will be ready to fully embrace the glorious moment of long awaited victory.

The best rainbows come after the worst storms. It's coming. Can you feel it? Look UP!

The truth is, when you forget (or refuse) to look up..you miss out on seeing The Helping Hand stretched out for you.

To Know Your Heart

2010-05-09T13:24:00.001-06:00

Even when you know the storm is coming, it still hits harder than you'd expected. But the peace that comes, when you allow it, is beyond understanding. My heart is beyond heavy and the tears seem to be never ending. But my soul is soaring on wings of eagles. Which is hard, even for me, to believe.

I got in the car today after church and sat in silence for quite awhile. Just listening for my Father. Feeling His embrace. Drowning out all that surrounded me and just being nothing more than silent in His presence. Then felt the Lord urge me to turn the radio on. I did, and this song was just starting. I've never heard it before. It was perfect. Thank you, Father. For loving on me so completely. For comforting me beyond what any human can offer. For being my Friend Who sticks closer than a brother. For being my Shelter. For hiding me in the shadow of Your Wing. I love you, always. With YOU all things work together for my good. You've never failed me, so I won't doubt in You now.

Love you guys. Oh, and Happy Mother's Day. You are beautiful, adored, cherished and valued. Not even one of you is alone. Even if you feel that way. He is always with you.

We'll chat soon..

The Cure for Worry!

2010-05-07T08:34:00.000-06:00

Pastor Laurie does it again..or shall I say the Lord does it through Pastor Laurie. That's more accurate! Willing vessels are my most favorite thing ever! Anyway, this devo hit my inbox just as I was worrying about the day and complaining about my shoulder pain..wondering how I was gonna go scrub floors and tubs. Thankfully, my God is bigger than any shoulder pain..and He will give me strength I can't find on my own. :0)

Also, I love that he used the word "perspective"! You all know that's my new favorite word. Dang it's an easy one to say, hard one to apply. But, I'm getting better. It seems I'm constantly reminding myself, "perspective". And every time I do, it's like hearing it for the first time! LOL Oh yeah, perspective! :0) Anyway, I highlighted the sentence where he says that..for your viewing pleasure. heehee Love you! Have a GREAT Friday!

FRIDAY, MAY 7, 2010
The Cure for Worry
Greg Laurie

From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety.
— Psalm 61:2

There are things in life that scare us, even terrify us sometimes. We have concerns about the future, about our health, about our family, and about our finances. The list of things that cause us to be filled with anxiety goes on and on. So I have a suggestion for you: the next time you are tempted to worry, pray.

I worry, and I don't admit that with pride. Worry can be a sin in which we are failing to trust God. Philippians 4:6–7 gives us this solution for worry:
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Notice these verses don't say that as you pray about everything, God will take your problems away. Rather, it says that God's "peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Maybe God will take your problem away. Or maybe He won't. But what will happen is that you will gain perspective as you see God for who He is and your problem for what it is.

If you have a big God, then you have a relatively small problem. But if you have a big problem, then it might be that you have a small God. You are not seeing God in His glory and what He can do. The psalmist wrote, "From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed . . ." (Psalm 61:2). When I cry out to God, He gives me His peace and His strength. And He will do the same for anyone who will call on Him.

Matt & Laura's Haiti video

2010-05-06T10:53:00.000-06:00

Can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of them. They make differences in the lives of many, daily. And get out of their comfort zone to do so. I wish I could bring all of those kids home and love on them forever. And, I wish videos of kids in the USA would show such joy. Our kids really don't know how good they have it..neither do we.

Anyway, I thought you all might enjoy to see the video since you were my prayer buddies while they were there! Enjoy.

Sunshine, sweat, and yelling.

2010-05-06T09:47:00.003-06:00

Yup, woke up to SUNSHINE. Will it last? Even an hour? I hope so. Yesterday we had minutes of sunshine, hours of dark nasty wind, bursts of snow, hail, rain, and just all around muck. Yesterday's weather was like a woman's emotions when going through PMS. ..Oh, and just a side note, we do all realize that it's mid MAY and I used the word SNOW. Right?

First song that popped up on my player when I signed in was Zac Brown Band: Chicken Fried. LOVE IT! Such a fun band. Now, it's Toby Keith: I Wanna Talk About Me. Love that song, too! How funny! Must be why it's on my playlist. haha Anyway, it reminds me of when we lived in Texas. The song had just come out. And our friends son, Brian, just LOVED it and loved to sing it whenever it came on. So cute. Every time I hear that song I think of Brian and all the laughs our families had together. You'd think they still live there the way I talk, right? No, they live 30 minutes away from me. I see them once a year, maybe. Sad! I should work on that.

After last weeks Biggest Loser episode where they did the 5K run, Chris told me that he wanted to do that with me the next time we went to the gym. After my whole falling issue we didn't go that Friday, or Monday. (Remember, I literally could barely walk on Monday.) So, last night was the night! I was like..oh man, why am I doing this. Now..5K really isn't that big a deal. It works out to 3.1 miles (thank you Google)..I usually do 5 miles on the elliptical. (yes, we did elliptical, not treadmill..I wonder how that changes things?) But, as soon as I got on the elliptical last night my legs and hips were already on FIRE. My body was like, "ARE YOU FLIPPING KIDDING ME?!?!" At 1.6 miles I looked over to Chris and told him, "I'm not gonna make it." And in usual fashion, my husband yells, in the gym, because he still (at 34 years of age) can't figure out that when you have earphones in you don't need to speak so loud..."WHAT? HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE LEFT? 30 SECONDS? YOU CAN'T MAKE IT?" I almost punched him off of his elliptical machine. In my head I saw him flying through the air. I told him, "You're yelling again." "WHAT??? ISN'T IT JUST 30 SECONDS LEFT? YOU SAID YOU WERE DOING 30 MINUTES?" I said, "You're yelling." He then pulls out his earphones. Jeez, thanks. Novel concept. Turns out he doesn't realize that I set my timer to show how much time I have left, not how much time I've done. I don't feel like explaining it, so I just turn my face away from him. And just for the record, I was going 45 minutes, not 30. So regardless, he made no sense. Ok, I wasn't really going to tell you all of that. I love my husband. HAHA Anyhoo, Then at 1.74 miles I thought, I am going to DIE. It was SOO HOT IN THERE! I really need to get that manager to crank the A/C. 74* for a gym is like working out on the face of the sun. And it's totally humid in there with peoples nasty butt sweat. Moving on...well, wait. Staying put for a sec. When we first started going there it was nice and cool. And, no butt sweat. What happened? OK..NOW moving on...so at 1.74 miles I decided I wasn't going to look at the progress screen anymore for awhile. I got sucked into my Hoarders show (GREAT SHOW) and next time I looked I was at 2.33 miles. Sweet! I look over at Chris and say, "Did you say it was 3.1 miles or 3.6 miles?" "WHAT??" "Did you say it was 3.1 or 3.6 miles?" "THREE POINT ONE" Again, everyone on the gym looks over. They feel my pain, I'm sure. Well, actually, they are probably used to it. Because as he watches whatever show he's got on he laughs just as he would at home..makes comments on the show in a very loud voice..it's actually kind of funny. Just not when he's making it sound like I can't make it 30 seconds on a machine. Then all the funny runs out. I'm rambling again. I know. SO..I finished my 3.1 with lots of time to spare so I kept going..because I wanted to finish watching Hoarders. So..in the end I made it 4 miles and went for an hour. I usually make it 5 miles in just a little over an hour..so I'm running, in theory, about 5 minutes behind that. Which means I need to get into the gym more. I'll deal with that later. Actually, the last 15 minutes on the machine I went super slow..so maybe if I'd given it my all, I would have gotten 5 miles. Yeah, I'll go with that. haha

Well, that's really all I had to share. Except that our Cinco De Mayo dinner was super yummy. And Chris has decided that he will have the left over meat with eggs this morning. The kids and I almost threw up. But, I do realize that many people like cow and eggs. That's fine. I don't. I hope he super enjoys it! He's up sleeping right now. Got up to take Ash to the bus stop, but must not have had a meeting because when I woke up he was back in bed with me! He's such a sweetie. I just love him. Even when he's yelling at me in the gym..on accident, of course.

Love you! Have a wonderful day. Remember, Jesus LOVES you with a love that is limitless. His love never runs out, or walks away if it gets too hard. And He is forever faithful to you..without fault..He loves you because He WANTS to. He's not forced to. He CHOSE you. He WANTS you! You are the apple of His eye.

We'll chat soon...

Cinco De Mayo!!

2010-05-05T09:30:00.001-06:00

Yay! I just love this holiday and am proud to be part of my husbands heritage..even if only by marriage. :0) J told my Mom a few weeks back, "I'm not sure I want to be part Mexican. Even though I really like Mexicans." My Mom asks him why and says he should be very proud of who he is. J replies, "Well...I can't speak spanish." awwww it was so sweet. He did learn a little bit last year and will start learning more in school this coming year. I told him Mommy can't teach you many words that are good for you to know, so you better wait for school..haha Chris should be able to teach him everything he needs to know, but he's forgotten most everything he learned. Bad!

We've had the carne asada marinating since Monday afternoon (some say to only marinate for 2 hours, no more than 24..we don't agree). I'm in the process of making green sauce for dipping...and we've decided against making our own tortillas today. Just not enough time. Too many other things going on. But we will imagine them. The last ones we made turned out really well!

Well, enjoy your day! We plan to enjoy ours. Yahoo!

Love ya

We'll chat soon...

Help! I've fallen..but I got up.

2010-05-03T21:27:00.003-06:00

Our Golden Retriever has serious separation issues. When we leave, she digs to try to get out..not even near a gate..that would take too much brainy activity. She just literally goes crazy and starts maniacly digging and drooling and shaking and running. So, we can't leave her outside. And we can't leave her in the dog kennel because she does the same thing in there that she does outside. So we get home and she is sopping wet with drool. Gross. SO, we leave her in the garage when we leave. That worked well for awhile cuz I think she kinda figured we were inside, not gone. Then at some point she figured it out and started flipping out..trying to eat herself into the house by destroying the doorframe. Stellar. So, we now baracade the door. We put the kennel in front of half of it and then the baby gate on the other half of it so she can't get at it. It actually works really well. She just walks around with my slipper in her mouth and waits for us to get home. Sweet!

All of THAT to say..I had it all set up in the garage the other day (Friday) and noticed that I had forgotten to put her bed down on the concrete for her to lay on. And, J was bringing out her bowl of water and I didn't want him to have to climb over the gate. So, I went over the gate. Literally. The tip of my shoe caught on the handle of the mop that was wedged in between the wall and gate and I went flying. In the nano seconds between standing and laying, I thought, I could keep trying to regain balance, or I could just fall. I thought, screw it, I don't even care. And, I fell. Full force onto the ground. Pounding my entire right side into the concrete. Probably wasn't the best idea. But, I'm tired people. There comes a point in life where you just decide, screw it, I don't want to fight anymore. And that was the moment I had in the garage. I just didn't feel like trying to fight against something that was going to happen, in some form, anyway. So, I jacked up my shoulder pretty good. Shooting pains everywhere. But, it's all better now. I got a nasty concrete burn (like a rug burn) with a hideous bruise all around it and then on my thigh I have a huge bruise in the shape of the outside of my fist (think donut)..which my thigh firmly landed upon. Of course, my hips always hurt (thank you Hartmann family tree) so this only made that lil problem about a million times worse. No biggee.

So then on Sunday, Amber, Val and I were supposed to go hiking. But between the weather and my "fall", the hike was out. This was going to be the repeat of the death hike I did last year with Val. Some of you will remember that hike. It is straight from the pit of hell, but so worth it. So, I told Amber I thought I'd be fine to just walk on flat ground..just not ready to go push myself up the hill for hours on end. SO..she came over and we walked..and walked..and walked. I wanted to finish a loop that Tierney and I had started a few months back. And, we did! My hips were hurting pretty good by half way through..and when we got done they really hurt. Some would have stopped. I told my body to suck it up. I was busy. We ended up walking over 7 miles. I can hardly walk yesterday night and today. Cool, right? LOL My poor, poor hips. One day they will realize that I'm not giving in. Or, they'll win and I'll get a hip replacement..whatever. Either way, I'm gonna keep walkin.

So, back to Friday. We were getting ready to leave because Ash was gone for the weekend to Montana for Bible Quiz, and J was going to my parents' house for the weekend. AND, Chris was taking me out for my belated Birthday dinner and outing over the weekend (specifically that night). So, it was super cool to destroy myself just as we are getting ready to walk out the door, right!?! LOL Chris said, "Babe, maybe we should just stay home." I said, to hell with that. We are going OUT. Us Mother's have to take it where we can get it! We stopped and got some bandaids and a huge bottle of ibuprofin. I took a bunch and felt better. See, honey!?! I'm totally ready to go out! ;) We had a blast. Yummy dinner, great movie (Date Night..an objectional moment but otherwise great), walk around the mall for our breakfast the next day (Mrs. Powell's Cinnamon Rolls) and a stop by The Cheesecake Factory for our to-go desserts. Then home to ~~overdose on Ibuprofin~~ relax.

Saturday we laid around totally lazy..oozed around like beached whales as we ate the cinnamon rolls. Then went out to grab some lunch, a birthday present for our weekly birthday party (haha) and a dessert. Then over to his brother, Dave and Amber's house for dinner. Had super fun there, I grinned through the pain and kept popping pills.

Sunday, we again lazed around and ate the rest of the cinnamon rolls..and then my walk..and then a birthday party..then Ash came home! And then the real hip pain set in. And now here we are. :) The family is trying to be nice to me and not make fun of how stupid I look when I walk..well, in reality, this isn't the first time this has happened. My hips actually despise me and do this often, just not this bad.

In the meantime I was able to get all of our laundry done, and grocery shop, get the library books returned, solve quite a few crossword puzzles, have a race down a parking lot with J (it doesn't hurt hardly at all to run..weird, right?), and go through yard sale stuff! It was a FABULOUS weekend!!!

Well, there's the update. It was a long one, huh. I have to figure out how to stop rambling so. But..then..I wouldn't be me.

Soduku Guru?

2010-05-03T08:58:00.001-06:00

I've been working on solving puzzles in my Soduku puzzle book for about a year now. I got through the Novice section, no problem. Then got through the Master section with challenge, but not too much. Now, I'm in the Guru section and can't solve them on my own for anything! Urgg. Are any of you Suduku masters?

And, just by the way, how DO you spell Soduku? I find it spelled differently all over. My book shows it as "Sudoku". The internet shows it as "Soduku". I've seen it with varying o's and u's. Hmm.

See God's Goodness In The Midst Of Evil

2010-04-29T12:44:00.000-06:00

My buddy, Ernesto, forwarded this to me today. It is AMAZING! I just love how when we choose to change our perspective on a situation, everything is made clear. Anyway, enjoy..

See God’s Goodness In The Midst Of Evil
By: Joseph Prince

Matthew 2:13
13… an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.”

God does not play a game of counterattack with the devil — the devil does something bad, then God steps in to bring something good out of it. The truth is, when something bad happens, it is the devil reacting to something good that God has started. The Lord once told me, “Tell My people that if they want to understand what I am doing, just look at what the devil is doing and see it in reverse. That is what I am doing, multiplied many times over.”

I see this truth in the Bible. When Christ was born, soldiers were sent to kill all baby boys under the age of two in Bethlehem. The folks in Bethlehem then would have seen only evil. But there were those like Mary who saw God’s goodness. They knew that God had sent a Savior into the world! The killing of the infants was just the devil’s reaction to the gift of salvation that God had sent.

The Lord showed me that this was how we were to look at the bird flu when it hit our region not too long ago. While I was pondering the significance of birds, the Lord showed me Matthew 6:26: “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”

If God takes care of the birds, how much more will He take care of you! So, by attacking the birds with disease, the devil is, in essence, reacting to God’s provision for His people. In other words, he saw that God’s provision had already been released on His people in a big way!

With every new virus that the devil throws at us, you must discern that the devil is trying to pervert and reverse what God is already doing. Then, you will know that something good is going to come out of it. You see, every new strain of virus tells us that God has already released a new anointing of health for His people. And I believe that He releases new levels of prosperity for His people too. So don’t just see the evil. See the good that God is already doing!

Facebook, itchy throats and sunshine

2010-04-28T12:46:00.004-06:00

Good afternoon, blogging buddies :)

How is your life today? Treating you well? Are you enjoying the moments? My life is nice today, treating me fine, and I'm enjoying most of the moments, as long as they don't piss me off. And, I'm PMS'ing, so .. yeah, nuff said.

A fantastic bit of news, the sun is out! Yesterday was so funky weather wise. It's nice to have a break today, although it is cold and super windy. At least the sun is out. I can deal with the rest.

Kirstie Alley's BIG LIFE is still cracking me up. What a funny show. Anyone at all watching it???? And, I haven't heard anything from you all on my Biggest Loser post a few days back. Is anyone watching that???? I like to use a lot of ?????'s

Still in the thick of the Facebook fast. Just talking about it makes me want to swear. And I work very hard at not swearing, so maybe we shouldn't talk about it..but, I will. And, I won't swear. Promise. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks w/o FB. It feels like 2 years. I don't miss the actual website, or anything it offers. I just miss my friends. :0( Quite a few have been emailing me, so that has been nice. Some of the one's I miss most have proven that with or without Facebook, we won't be separated. That brings a smile to my face. See? There really WAS life before Myspace/Facebook! And the continued communication proves that. *wink* But there are still so many times that I want to go post something..or get an emotion out, or whatever..and can't. So, I either end up blowing up or bottling up or both or nothing or.. yeah. I'm lost. Ok, that's a bit dramatic. I'm not lost. Just having to find a new outlet for my emotions/thoughts, etc. Anyway, I told Chris Facebook is my "dope" and, like Mike Starr, I'm dope sick (any celeb. rehab/sober house fans out there?). Oh, did I mention my friend Mike Q. joined me and Jess in the Facebook fast? It's great to have company. Jess was only a part time lover of FB anyway, so it hasn't been too rough for her. Mike and I on the otherhand..well let's just say, we are walkin by faith. LOL

More people have moved on in other areas of life. It's sad. I keep wondering, how many more? I'm trying to stay positive and peaceful and choosing to put my focus on Him instead of outward things, but sometimes (about 4 million times/day) it gets hard. It's a constant adjustment from outward to upward. I find myself saying, "I give it all to you Lord" more than you could possibly begin to imagine. I know that in all things, He has my best interests in mind and will work everything for the good. And I know that to everything there is a season. But, ...ok I need to stop talking about this and move onto something else.

Allergies. Horrendous. Payday will bring more allergy pills. Thank you, Jesus, for payday. I'm itching, my son is making loud snorting sounds to itch his throat, Chris is coughing. I don't know what the daughter is doing, she's at school. But we here at home are miserable. However, as soon as I look outside and see all of the gorgeous green grass and trees and the beautiful rainbow of colored flowers, it's all worth it. NO SNOW is a wonderful thing.

Well, have a wonderful day friends. Praying the best for you and believing for great things on your behalf. Life is good, don't ever forget it. You are loved.

We'll chat soon..

Announcing....

2010-04-26T11:12:00.002-06:00

My new playlist! I'm still workin on it..but it's got a lot of my faves so far.

The Biggest Loser

2010-04-25T09:52:00.001-06:00

Anyone watch this weeks episode? Cuz I was crying for the whole last half of it. O'Neil got me good.

The other thing that I loved was when Koli reminds Victoria of something great. And, I've heard it before on the show but for some reason it just really stuck out at me yesterday. He said, "Your potential is limitless." That is SO TRUE (obviously)! People will say, "Now THAT one has potential." But the truth is, we ALL have it! And it's LIMITLESS! What a freeing statement.

"Go GRAYS!!!" Love my gray team (Sam & Koli). Yellow (O'Neil and Sunshine) is still my 2nd fave..but the grays just had my heart from day one. They're good boys. But, O'Neil..man, I love him.

Have a great SONday everyone. Love you!

We'll chat soon...

Happy Birthday to me!

2010-04-24T18:51:00.002-06:00

Today is kinda cool cuz it's my birthday. Ok, I don't really care for my birthday. BUT, the cool part of it is that I am 33. I love that my age is two of the same number.

So..many of you remember that today was my weight loss goal date. I wanted to be at 140 today (started at 167). Here is my report. :)

Mom & Dad gave me some birthday $$ yesterday so today I went out shopping for a few hours. Got some make up (sorely needed) and some clothes (also sorely needed). I went to try on the clothes..it's never a good experience. But, it's getting better, slowly. Anyway, I had no idea what size pants to buy because I haven't bought pants in a bazillion years (minus the pair I bought at Christmas that never fit right but after returning them twice and getting new ones I just didn't care. I wear them even though they are huge). So the pants in my closet are 10's, 12's and 14's. Usually I get a 12 and they are snug. Today I thought, eh, what the heck..I'll try an 8..and then they didn't have the color I wanted in an 8, only a 6. So I thought, what the heck, I'll try it on. Never thought it would fit, just thought I'd try..because that's what I do. I try things even if I don't think they will work. Call me sadistic..call me optimistic. I'm sure, at times, I fit either description. Anyway, THEY FIT! I mean, they aren't loose. It's not a "perfect fit" by any means. But, they fit! I haven't worn a 6 since before I had J. He's 8. Yeah. I never thought I'd get back into a 6. And, still, an 8 would probably be a better choice. LOL The body of the pants fit perfectly as a 6. The waste "band" needs to be an 8. But, to hell with that. I bought the 6 and will work out. I don't wear skin tight shirts anyway..and before I started working out, my 14's and 12's fit like my 6's do now. So, who cares??

Also, in a bit of sad news..I had to get new bras. Last time I bought a bra I was a healthy D. Now? normal B. *sigh* I told Chris, I need liposuction, a tummy tuck and a boob lift. I may be wearing the 6 and the B bra, but I in no way look the same way I did last time I wore these sizes. He says, it's time to add in weights to my work out and he thinks that I will acheive the look I want. We shall see. If I don't, can I have liposuction, tummy tuck and a boob lift? Honestly, though, when all of the bills are paid off, I really will consider calling my plastic surgeon and going in for a Mommy Makeover. Why do all that work if I still have to look like crap afterwards? I can't think of a reason. It was one of the main reasons I didn't want to lose weight..because I didn't want to be a saggy woman. Don't get me wrong, I still have plenty of plump..but the sag is starting to increase. urgg..one step at a time, Sarah, one step at a time.
I also got a large shirt and a SMALL shirt! OK, can't hardly ever wear a small and definitely not anytime recently. My shoulders are too big for smalls. My boobs are too big for smalls. It's just always been that way. But this one is kind of a tank top so my shoulders have no issue. My newly tiny boobies still are a little snug, but it's not bad. Do you really want to know this? LOL Anyway, I usually wear an extra large.

SO, even though I didn't meet my weight loss goal for todays date (I wanted to be at 140, I'm at 149), I am super happy with where I'm at. I will still lose more as time goes on, but I'm in such a better place now emotionally and physically, I feel a million pounds lighter. I haven't worked out in about 3 weeks..maybe longer? Anyway, at that time I was 150..so basically the other pound I've lost since then is probably muscle. No good. We are gonna start going to the gym again on Monday. Next gym goal: Get rid of back boobs :o) (no, I'm not talking about my butt..it's already long gone).

Well, we had a great day today. Next weekend, after payday, my hubby is taking me out to get some Asian Fusion for a belated bday dinner..can't wait!

OH and I came home to a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of multi colored roses from Jess. They smell SOOOOOOO good. And they are beautiful.

Thanks to everyone who has texted/called/emailed to wish me a happy birthday. It's been happy, indeed!

Love you!

We'll chat soon..

Playlist inspiration..

2010-04-23T10:15:00.000-06:00

As some of you know, I have been tired of my current playlist for quite awhile. Just burned out on it. I used to have a playlist with close to 200 songs so it was impossible to get sick of!

Anyway, I'm gonna start spending some time making a new playlist. I can't decide if, in the meantime, I should have a silent blog or if I should leave the current playlist up there. Hmm. I think I will leave my current one up. I just don't like life w/o music, even if I'm burned out on it.

Any suggestions on music? Let me know. I don't promise I'll add it to my page, but I promise to check it out.

Have a great weekend! Love you!

We'll chat soon..

.Don't avoid Goliath.

2010-04-22T11:49:00.000-06:00

Pastor Tim Johnson: Against All Odds
Worth the listen..

Thoughts for the journey..

2010-04-22T10:38:00.006-06:00

It's raining outside..dark and gloomy. Usually I would be kinda icked out by it. But, I'm not. Because there's a different perspective to be had.

Right now, things are dark and gloomy, but the rain is here. Rain is cleansing, embrace it. Rain cleanses through the storm of darkness. The rain takes off all of the muck. And then, when everything is clean, the sun comes out and dries up all the muck puddled beneath our feet. Leaving beauty.

Well, if that's what it takes, then..Jesus BRING THE RAIN!

Takes on a whole new meaning with my new perspective. Jesus is bringing some storms right now for me, but he's also bringing the rain. And sometimes he has to use a scrubbing pad in order to get some of the muck off..but, brighter days are ahead! He never cleanses without also giving hope of a new day. And, so, in this time, I will choose to PRAISE HIM IN ADVANCE!

It may be stormy for many of us right now, but the breakthrough is coming..the SON will break through the clouds. He always does. But not until the rain has done it's part. Just as I wouldn't leave a carwash midwash, I won't leave the storm mid cleanse!

After the rain, comes a bright sunny day. Don't give up! A life without seasons is boring and never produces anything of merit.

Sidenote: Don't confuse spiritual remodeling for depression. The enemy will try to make you believe that life is horrible, that you suck. It's not, and you don't. Life is change. Always has been, always will be. And if you will embrace the change and participate in the remodeling and restoration project, instead of focusing on the mold filled walls, great things will happen. Are you ready? Do you want to be free? Cuz, no matter what you FEEL, you are NOT alone. He IS there. Take His hand, He came to set you FREE. Therefor, you ARE free. Right now, it's already done. So..You are only a captive as long as you allow yourself to be. You are in jail voluntarily.

At any point you can walk out and start life anew. But, it's your choice..and mine. My choice has been made. I will give it all up if it means getting closer to Him. And being all that He wants me to be. I don't want what I can do, I want what only He can do. It's time to change our perspective..change our thinking.

Life without Facebook: Day 7

What a day.

2010-04-21T15:48:00.002-06:00

That's all I have to say, really. Just, "What a day, in the life of a growing Christian." There are ups and downs. But there is growth..and in that, progress.

Learning to trust.

I don't know what to put here..maybe, "Learning to trust"

2010-04-20T18:57:00.005-06:00

Well, it was an interesting week..yeah, I realize it's only Tuesday. shh. It's been a long one. And I'm counting in the end of last week too. So it's, like, almost a week..sort of.

Have you ever worked so hard at changing your life and then had something pop up that threatened to take it all away? That's how I felt this week. That I've poured everything into making my life new..new in Christ. Building up this amazing family that I have. A wonderful marriage and friendship with my husband. And then in an instant, poof..it could be gone. Now, could that literally happen in this situation? No. Not at all. It would hurt friendships and future moves, but it would not destroy my life. But my mind that likes to run wild enjoys taking me for a ride on the "what if" train. And sadly, I keep buying the ticket for that ride. And then when I have to later jump off the fast moving train, it hurts. But, Daddy is always there to clean up my scrapes and tuck me under His wing. Anyway..on with the lame drama..

I don't want ANYTHING threatening my family or the life we've built. And I will do anything to keep that from happening. I am super protective over what we have. And get infuriated when anything even comes close to threatening it. I know what it's like to lose it all and I never want that to happen again. So, something came up last week and my defenses went up and all week I've been playing the game of, "Lord would you REALLY let that happen? Why can't I just be done with this? Will there ever be a point where this stops popping up? Is it REALLY that no matter how far I go, how far removed, or how much I grow that this is always going to be an issue? Why are you being so mean to me! (I can laugh at that last sentence now.)"

It's not an issue for me emotionally anymore..that was broken long ago. Which is why it's so flipping frustrating that the Lord just allows it to pop up. Why? If I've done what He's said, if I've moved on, if I've climbed that mountain, if I've found deliverance, if I feel free in that deliverance (and I do and am amazed by it daily), then WHY does He allow it to ever surface again? Not as a temptation, but just as an annoyance. If I'm truly free (which I am because he who He sets free is free indeed) then why does it bother me if it pops up? Why should it matter? Well, it doesn't. Not in the way it used to. But, it matters to my family. If you mess with my family, there is no second chance. If I've cut ties with you, you are no longer allowed in my life, or in anyone elses life that has to do with me. Selfish? Yup. Childish? Yup. Irrational? Yup. Totally lame and without merit? Undecided.

Anyway, I guess maybe the lesson in all of it is my continuing lesson in control. I hate to even type that word. "Control" What a hideous word. So..is it ME that controls whether these things pop up? (super long sentence incoming -->)Is all of the avoiding areas and people and whatever else in order to keep from being approached nothing more than a stupid human attempt at controlling a situation that really can only be controlled by the Lord? Yes. Sure is. And I'd like to say that I find comfort in the false human style control. But I don't. I HATE having to avoid places. But..why do I? What would really happen? Nothing. That's what. Absolutely nothing. Except for a situation that I wouldn't have complete control over. Then again, I would. Because in letting the Lord have control, I also live under that covering. And He will not take me anywhere where He can't be with me. And He will not put me in a situation that is beyond what I can handle. So, I need to learn to trust. Trust that He can handle ALL things, not just the little things like food in the cupboard (ok sometimes that's a big thing). Nothing is too big for Him.

So..my trust walk and my letting go of control walk are both growing..and I don't really enjoy the growing. Not when it's in situations that I haven't approved of. LOL!! But, I can't ever expect to be stronger in my walk with Him if I can only trust Him in situations that make sense to me. In situations that I'm ok with. I have to stretch. And this week I stretched (maybe too far and might have pulled something). And was given relief by the end of this afternoon. Thank you, Jesus, for proving to me yet again that You ARE in control. That You DO have my best interest at heart. That your future for me IS wonderful. And nothing can hurt that which You have brought together for good. I can have faith in You and trust You completely in everything, big and small. Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. If I start to get caught up in the BS of life again, I will remember that stress and anger and resentment and worry and fear are NOT FROM YOU.

Val, thanks for hearing me yell at the top of my lungs and for pushing me by asking "WHY" ..and making me wade through the crap until I found the Light. Love you!

We'll chat soon..here's a song I love. Addicted to the whole CD at the moment..

Life without Facebook..not all it's cracked up to be.

2010-04-19T12:36:00.001-06:00

There are so many things I want to tell my Facebook friends! Can't. And I want to know how their/your days are going! Can't. Dang. I'm not even a week into the fast. Oh well..will find something else to do. Hope they/you are all doing well!

The dogs in this neighborhood are driving me insane. The weather is nice, so the dog owners figure that they can leave for work and have the dog outside ALL DAY with no problems. WRONG. Hello? Your dog barks ALL DAY. Don't leave it outside. If it was fine inside all winter, it can be fine inside all summer! Or put a bark collar on that sucker.

The weather is beautiful again today. Kitchen is nice and clean, schooling is almost done for the day. I need to get some laundry going and sew some patches onto J's Karate uniform. Also was gonna take him and his little buddy to the park and the library later, if she can go. But, I gotta tell you, a nap sounds lovely.

How's your week going?

Maxwell House...Mikey likes it!

2010-04-18T21:08:00.002-06:00

So..the Maxwell House coffee commercials have started coming on again. New improved taste is the boast. We usually get Seattle's Best or Starbucks (one in the same). Chris and I have been toying with trying it. We are very skiddish with new coffee. Because we don't have a lot of money to throw around, and so if we get crappy coffee we are stuck with it till the next payday. That's a long time. Anyway, today I went into the store and found that the 2lb container of MH was at a lower price now! It's now $6 instead of being almost $8. I knew it would go down in price after the initial commercials died off.   I came home and told Chris, "Babe, I got it. Hopefully it's good." We were nervous. Made a pot..Chris took the first sip and I cringed in anticipation..but he said, "It's not that bad!" YAY!!!! I tried mine and liked it, too. It's no Starbucks, but it's good. Later Chris said, "Hey, this really is pretty good!" I think we may have a winner.

Went and hung out with my Mommy today. It was super fun. We had planned to pack but ended up just running around from house to house and chatting. Then took J down to The Train Depot for "Depot Days", he had fun. J helped Grampie around the yard. We had ice cream sundaes. Just a fun, easy day. I needed that. Miss my parents. Love spending time with them.

Just on a side note, petty crap ticks me off. Or..maybe I should say womens petty crap ticks me off. It's like um can you just calm the mother down and breathe for a second? Not everything in life is really THAT dramatic. Everyone is NOT against you or out to get you and make your day miserable. Not everyone is really as immature as you think. Personal thoughts are really ok, even if they aren't identical to yours.   And, maybe it's a good thing for you to be in a situation that you can't completely control 110%. Lots of people populate this earth, and for good reason. We need different ideas, different personalities, different everything! It's good for us. Adjust. Alter your perspective. please? You might find it refreshing. I know I will. **sigh** Ok, enough of that. Just wanted to get that out.

J has decided that we need to go fishing soon. Sounds like a plan to me! Ash is up to 41 Justin Bieber posters in her room now. It's cute.

Guess what? We are gonna camp soon. The warmer days will come more consistantly very soon, and that means camping is coming very soon!!! EEEEH! So exciting.

Matt and Laura got back today from Haiti.  Was SO good to have them home. I pray their hearts are ok. Can't imagine all that they saw, and how hard it must have been to have to walk away from it all. I'm so proud of them for all that they do for others.

Well, I guess I've taken up enough of your day. :) Hope you had a fabulous weekend. I know I did! We got yard work and house work done..and got in a super long walk with the kids around the neighborhood, too! And, we got the chance to have dinner and conversation with some great friends. Really had a wonderful weekend.

I need a new blog layout..

Have a wonderful Monday, my sweet friends. Love you dearly.

We'll chat soon...

..Fasting Facebook..

2010-04-16T14:47:00.002-06:00

Yup. I'm fasting Facebook. I'm just sick of it. I started fasting it last night. I already wanted to log in and post a song that I loved and wanted to share with my friends. But, I didn't. I'm tired of all of the time it takes away from life. Not because it's evil in itself, but because I allow it to suck my life away it becomes evil. I've just been kind of bored, and lonely. And if I'm on Facebook, then I have someone to talk to or laugh with. Chris is always busy with something, and so are the kids. I'm the only one not busy. I COULD be busy, but I'm not. Well..let's change that. I am ALWAYS busy. But I could be busy in other ways. Does that even make sense to you? Erg. Regardless, I have signed off of Facebook for the next 30 days, maybe longer, probably not. A lot of my friends do not live here, so FB is really my only way to connect with them..other than actually calling them. Who does that anymore? Not me. I no likey the telephoney.

The weather is gorgeous. High 60's last time I checked. YAY! I love this weather. LOVE IT!

Well, here's the video I wanted to share on FB today..I can still share it with you! :0) It's an "oldy" but goody. I was privelaged to see him perform this song live years ago. It's amazing in real life. Hope you enjoy it, too :) It's just simple and pure. And, I love that.

Love you. We'll chat soon..take care of you!

Kirstie Alley..and boy crazy girls.

2010-04-14T19:11:00.005-06:00

Kirstie Alley's BIG LIFE (A&E). Um, I love it. It's officially my new guilty pleasure. Ok, well, I don't feel guilty. She is so funny. And beyond insecure. But funny.

OK, I had other issues I was dealing with as a teen, but did I totally miss the boy crazy phase? These girls today seem to have a line up of like 10 to 15 guys that they "totally love". How is that possible? What happened to pining away after one person? And if you can "totally love" that many guys at once do you haven even the slightest clue what love really is? Obviously not. But, still...it's just weird to me. And then to classify yourself as "boy crazy"?? Good Lord if someone labeled themselves as that when I was a teen we then quickly labeled them as sluts! Weird. Your thoughts on this? (disclaimer: if you are one of these girls, no, I don't think you're a slut. I just think you might want to change your wording a bit. No guy wants a boy crazy girl. He wants a girl that professes loving him and him only. And, just by the way, PUT A SHIRT ON.)

I wanna go swimming. The weather is so beautiful today. And it was yesterday, too. Could we actually be really over the winter season now? Like, really? No more snow? For reals? Oh, I pray we are.

I saw some pics of Texas that my friend posted on FB..bluebonnets, longhorns, GREEEEEEN surroundings. I haven't missed anything about Texas for a few months..but those pics brought back all the missings. I don't want to move back, I just want to go back for awhile. Maybe one day I will..

Anyone want to send me to Turks and Caicos yet?

Love you my sweet friends!

We'll chat soon...

Perspective..and diarrhea

2010-04-13T11:56:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I'm not bored anymore.

The sun has been making infrequent, but wonderful, appearances lately. I love the sun. :)

I got an update on the triplets yesterday. They are all doing well, progressing nicely. Of course, there are still times when they stop breathing, but those times are less frequent. The prayer request continues to be for their lungs to get stronger and for no infection to come on.

Also got an update from both my brother and his wife. They made it to Haiti safely. My brother said, "Good things are happening here." And my sil said, "It's beyond words." I can't imagine the devastation. I'm sure it goes far beyond what we've seen. But, I'm glad to hear that they are able to help. They return back to the states on the 16th and back to Boise on the 18th. So please continue to pray for their safety, and for them to just have a wonderful experience. Also, that the Lord would protect their hearts. It's hard to see so much suffering and not be able to take care of and/or fix every single problem. And then come back to America where things are so much easier (even though we feel we have it rough, and some of us do. It's nothing like it is there.). It must be hard for them.

If you've been on FB at all you know that we all have colds, or we all have severe allergies. Not sure which. I would go with allergies, but Chris hardly ever gets allergies and he's got this thing the worst. So that kinda throws a wrench in things. Hmm..what do we have, what do we have. :) I guess there really isn't a need to slap a lable on it. Just suffice it to say that we all feel like crap.

Read this book called, The Noticer, by Andy Andrews. Have any of you read it? It's a quick read, and a really good one. It's all about perspective and how we can change things if we will change our vision. Loved it! And I'm having "fun" putting it to work. For instance, the last sentence in the above paragraph...we could change it to say..is it us that feel like crap? Or is it crap that feels like us? LOL!!! Ok..that's not the point of the book, but it was funny to me. Anyhoo, I used to be stellar at looking at things in a different perspective. But over the years I somehow lost a lot of that "gift". So, I'm working on getting it back. Hense, the lack of continued boredom.

My brother's dog has the worst gas in the world. I feel like I'm stuck in a public bathroom where someone just had violent diarrhea. SAVE ME! Perspective?

Have a great day, friends. Love you!

We'll chat soon..

Boredom

2010-04-08T22:21:00.000-06:00

I am so bored lately. I think I mentioned this in the last blog. On the last blog? In the last blog? Well, whatever, you get the point.

I need a new hobby. Ideas?

2010-04-05T23:08:00.000-06:00

Haven't blogged in awhile. Maybe I'm in a blog funk. Maybe not. Hmm

Weather's been fickle. It's sunny. It's snowy. It's breezy. It's tornado worthy wind gust time. It's clear skies. It's black nasty skies. You get the idea..Oh, and that can all happen within 15 minutes.

So, I'm going through a boredom phase. I haven't really ever had one of these for more than a day, so it's weird. I think I need something new for a hobby. Not sure what just yet. Any ideas?

We spent Easter (after church and visiting with Chris' Mom) out at the ranch..it is so nice out there. I so wish it were time for us to be out there, too. In God's timing....His is better than mine!

Ash has started her fundraising efforts for the National Youth Convention and Fine Arts Festival (Chris is telling me the name of it as I write..seriously, could they have come up with a longer name????) Anyhoo..so far she's raised $155 in addition to the somewhere around $200 she has in her account. Sweet. Only about another $800 to go. And another $600 to go for Chris, since he has to be there as a coach and chapperone. Yup..lookin for money trees! Seen any? Will be SO fun for them, though. A great experience and good Father Daughter time!

We've got a big weekend coming up with 2 birthday parties. One of them is a joint bday party for a bunch of folk having a bday in April, including me! :) How fun! The other one is for a great guy we've gotten to know this past year. Can't wait for all of the laughs and games.

Well, April is crazy intense busy, but it's filled with stuff we love so it's all good! Ash leaves for Montana for just a little less than a week at the end of April. That's for a Teen Bible Quiz Regional competition. Lots of trips for that girl.

Hope you're week started off well, and that it ends even better! Love you all. Keep on keepin on..never look down, always look UP! Victory is on the way, a new day is coming. :)

We'll chat soon...

The kiss is lame

2010-03-25T14:08:00.005-06:00

Everytime I look at my page and see the pic of us kissing I think, "What a lame kiss." I super wish that we could have stopped laughing long enough to kiss right. Oh well. Next time :0)

Anyhoo..just had to explain what "butt kisser" means to my 8 year old. Thank you Toy Story. LOL Can't wait to hear the first time J decides to use this new saying. :)

Get to go to girls movie night tonight. So excited to have some time with my buddies. I just love these movie nights. Tonight we are gonna watch a movie called Love Happens. Never heard of it. But, hopefully it's a good one! Has Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart in it. Eh, even if it sucks I don't really care. It will just be fun to go.

Watched some Wintley Phipps videos on Youtube today. He is amazing. His versions of It is Well and Amazing Grace are beyond words. I think I've posted them on here before, but if you missed them go settle in for a date with Youtube. :) I'm trying to find his sermon God Will Restore in FULL on line. If you know of where to find it please let me know. I found the website that is said to have it in full, but it didn't. Well at least as far as I could tell, it didn't. But the 5 min they have of it on Youtube is awesome.

It's a rainy day here in Kuna. But it's a rainy day in SPRING, so I'm ok with it :) The trees are starting to bud. There are a few flowers showing their beautiful smiles. The seeds were planted..there was a long period of dryness, then storms came and covered them, then the sun came out for a few days to warm them, then the rain came, and now they bloom. :) Just think on that awhile..you might find it applies pretty well to our lives as humans :) Seeds don't grow instantly..they have to go through a process which involves many different seasons. But just when you think you can't stand another day of "winter", the seeds start to sprout into a plant..and if it's a well taken care of seed/plant, the roots are deep and strong and the plant thrives. Hmm..this works either way...with rotten filthy plants, and with beautiful plants. We better be careful which seeds we plant and nurture!

Dwell on beauty. Focus on the upcoming victory, don't get caught up in the temporary defeat of the moment. It's just a season. And your season of harvest is coming! Oh, I pray it's a harvest of a beautiful, well rooted plant for you. Not one that will need to be plucked.

Remember..even beautiful plants need pruning. :) It may hurt for a season, but soon you will grow even bigger and more beautiful than before.

Have you ever noticed that not all of the plants/flowers bloom at the same exact time? Hmm Must mean that their perfect timing hasn't arrived yet. If they bloomed prematurely they would die b/c they wouldn't be in an atmosphere where they could thrive. If they bloomed too late, they wouldn't have lasting beauty because their season was cut short and they didn't have time to fully grow in to a strong healthy plant. It's important to wait..in the promise is the victory. We wait with the promise. Believing in the victory. And, just at the right time the bud opens up into the flower..VICTORY!! But what do we do in the waiting? In the "promise" period? What we need to do is trust that the victory is coming. And we need to prepare for that victory. By fertilizing. Get in The Word. Fertilize your soul with the truth. Have faith in the promise and wait with expectation for the victory! Cuz the big victory IS coming friends. And, it will be just on time. Don't rush it. Prepare for it.

In the Promise season there are many tiny victories..which lead to a magnificently huge victory. Oh I love huge victories. :) Tiny victories are like a chocolate chip cookie. They're yummy, but you want more. And the huge victory is like a magnificently gooey goosebump inducing Lava Cake. Overflowing with decadent richness and filling every cell of your body with extreme passionate joy like nothing else you've experienced. Victory..it's sweet. It's here in little bits at first, and then, when we are strong enough to handle the wave, it comes gushing forth in a magnificently flowing abundant flood! Yahoo! The Lord is the perfect "baker" and "gardener"!

Love you!

We'll chat soon..

Update on my ol' life :)

2010-03-23T22:45:00.004-06:00

Well, It's been a long time since I've really written, I think. I don't feel like going back to look. But I think I've just posted videos or things at random. Yes? Maybe not. Let us move on.

Spring is here :) Have you noticed? Is it spring-like where you are? J and I are still sneezing like crazy. But, the sunshine is so beautiful. Kuna is always windy, always. But, once the hot days of summer hit we will be very thankful for the wind..it cools the house down nicely and saves me on A/C bills! And I love that!

Had a brief moment (48 hours) where I had decided we were going to Maui this summer for a family vacation. It will be our 15th Anniversary on September 1st. And, the vacation slot for my parents' time share is Sept. 1 - Sept. 15. Perfect, right? Plane tickets were less than $500/each. Sweet again, right? Yeah. This morning I decided forget it. We'll go the next time their slot is open, in 2 years. I just don't have the energy to get 2000 bucks right now. I really, really don't. Not even for Maui. We had also thought about just Chris and I going..but we didn't want to go without the kids. So, it's off. No Maui. Just thought I'd let you know :)

I haven't shared this anywhere or with hardly anyone..just my walkin buddy and a few family members. Why? I don't know. Yes I do. It's because {some} people suck. And their little petty side comments annoy me. And I didn't feel like hearing all of the snickering and assuming and crap that may happen if I talked about it. Because really it's no ones business what I do with my money. But!! Onto the news, we got a new truck. :) We were able to move things around with bills and then trade in our SUV for the truck we've been wanting (and needing in the summertime) for years. And, the best part is, even though the truck payment is more than the SUV payment was..we still save more money than we did before we got the truck. God is SOOOOOOO good. I would tell you about the huge lesson in faith my earthly Daddy gave me concerning my Heavenly Daddy the entire week previous to the purchase of the truck. But, it's way too long and let's just sum it all up in saying, when we take our meesly little control off of the situation and let God do His thing..the blessings FAR outweigh what we could have come up with on our own. Love my Daddy, and my Daddy God. :O)

So, we love the truck. Mostly, we love the butt warmers!! Yeeeehaw for butt warmers :) And, it came with 3 months free of some satellite music service thing. It's Serious but spelled stupid..That's all the rage now. Spelling junk wrong. Anyhoo..I think I just sounded like I was 80 right then. But, regardless, the kids love the music thing. They like the Disney station (wow, Disney kids don't sing about mickey mouse anymore) and I love the Coffeehouse station. But, I don't think we will keep it after the free period is up. 13 bucks a month to keep it. That's just silly for me. Maybe if I were driving all the time like I used to I could justify it. But no.

As you FB'ers know, I finally hit 150lbs this week. DANG IT TAKES FOREVER TO LOSE WEIGHT THE RIGHT WAY!!! But, it feels nice :)

The doggy's are out here by me..they are SO CUTE. I just love them. Sadie has a big beautiful smile with egyptian eyes. And Greta has a tiny little gramma w/o her teeth in smile (she does have teeth but her mouth kinda ..well..nevermind) and big Marilyn Monroe eye lashes. OK..scratch the cute remarks..Greta's now licking her womanlies..she's ruined the moment.

Well, it's been a great week and I know it will continue to be great. I got to see Jess last week (FINALLY) and then tonight we got to go out for our buddy Eric's bday which was super fun, then tomorrow I get to go to lunch with my long lost buddy Kristi, Thursday night I get to go to girls movie night at my buddy Tiffany's house, and then Fri/Sat/Sun we have Drama competitions!!! And mixed in there I get to go on walks with Tierney, and maybe a trip to the library with my sweet son.

Hope your weeks are going well, too. Love you much! I will leave you with this great mix of quotes from Joyce Meyer. They were 3 different ones that I smooshed together.

"Instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you. You may have fallen down, but you don't have to stay down. God is ready, willing and able to pick you up. God loves us because He wants to—it pleases Him. God loves us because it’s His nature to love, and He will always love us. He doesn’t always love everything we do, but He does love us. God’s love is unconditional. In fact, there’s nothing we can do to ever escape His love. God’s love is the power that forgives our sins, heals our emotional wounds, and mends our broken hearts. The more you trust Jesus and keep your eyes focused on Him, the more life you'll have. Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest. So stop trying to figure everything out, and let God be God in your life." ~Joyce Meyer~

We'll chat soon..

Rebound from Regret

2010-03-22T15:27:00.002-06:00

YOU: APPROVED!

2010-03-18T10:07:00.000-06:00

My buddy, Ernesto, posted this devo on his FB page today. I immediately stole it. I love it! Thought you might, too. So often we try to hard to be something we are not..more like someone else who we think is happier, prettier, better at parenting, better at this or that..but all we need to do is be who WE were created to be. He created each one of us differently for a reason. And He didn't make a mistake. He formed us, and he marked us APPROVED! That's pretty awesome! As you've probably seen in my email quote.."God didn't make a mistake when He made you. You need to see yourself as God sees you!" And by the way, He sees you as AMAZING, because you ARE! :) Love you!

Here's the devo:

TODAY'S SCRIPTURE:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you…"

(Jeremiah 1:5, AMP)

Did you know that God was thinking about you before you were ever born? He knew everything about you before you were in your mother's womb. He created you on purpose, for a purpose. He carefully planned who you would be, the color of your hair, the color your eyes and skin. He gave you gifts, talents, and abilities to be used for His glory. He took one look at you and said, "Approved." ... See More

No matter how you may be feeling right now, no matter who's approval you didn't get on this earth, know that Almighty God loves you and approves of you today. There's nothing you can do now or ever to change that. You may be thinking, "I've made so many mistakes, how can God approve of me?" Understand that when God sees you, He separates you from your behavior. He may not approve of your actions all the time, but He desires to help you grow and make better choices.

Today, receive His love and acceptance. Allow Him to work in your life. Allow His love to empower and strengthen you because you are approved and equipped to live in victory all the days of your life!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY:

Heavenly Father, thank You for approving me and empowering me by Your love. I open my heart and mind to Your truth and invite You to have Your way in my life. Remove anything that would hold me back from all You have in store. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

---

We'll chat soon..

2010-03-17T21:26:00.002-06:00

Are any of you having a hard time commenting on my page? My MIL is, so I turned off the need for comments to be approved before showing. Well, if you are having trouble, email me and let me know :) mrsmendiola@cableone.net

Love you!

Just keepin it real..maybe too real?

2010-03-17T00:14:00.002-06:00

You, know, I'm just gonna come right out and say what most Mom's are too scared to say (it seems). Here it goes (and I'm already fighting the urge to delete this post before it even starts..just knowing what I'm about to write "out loud")

"Being a Mom really sucks sometimes!!"

OK, there, I said it. I don't really feel better. But, it's true. Sometimes kids are just filthy little liars, self absorbed, malfunctioning, and hideously unaware of how their actions (or lack there of) affect the world around them! (And, let's just be brutaly honest here, we are ALL kids)

And, sometimes, it just really hurts the Mommy heart to watch her child look her straight in the eye, and with no reservation, lie. Just LIE. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...

There are days when I just want to quietly go downstairs, pick up the keys, go out to the car and drive. Drive to the airport to get a ticket to anywhere and go. Because evidently nothing I have done here at home has worked. All of the teaching, and showing by example, and encouraging, and late night talks, and whatever else..they've all failed. If it was a job I was getting paid for, they'd fire me and find some Stepford ~~Wife~~ Mom to take my place. One who doesn't care what her kids do. Doesn't desire for them to be all they can be. Couldn't care less if they have morals or values. Encourages them to go smoke crack just for life experience sake. (no, my kids don't smoke crack)

I love my children. I don't ever want a day without them being my children. My children are the most amazing creatures I have ever met. I absolutely adore them. But sometimes, being their Mom sucks. That's just the way it is. I tell them, "I will ALWAYS love you. But that doesn't mean that I have to love what you do. I am ALWAYS proud of YOU. But that doesn't mean I am always proud of what you do."

Being a Mom is just like any other job that you love. Sometimes you have great days, and sometimes, even though you love the job, it sucks. And, today, my job sucked.

Tomorrow is a new day. And, God willing, I will wake up to two beautiful children who are happy and healthy and ready to embark on their days with joy and smiles. But, if not, this whole Mommy gig is still the sweetest on the planet. Sucky days or not, I wouldn't trade them for anything. I would, however, enjoy a lie remover procedure. And a half assery removal procedure. Not as replacements for these days of suckfest, but just in addition to these days of suckfest :)

Love you guys. :)

We'll chat soon..

5 Question Friday (pretend it's Friday)

2010-03-13T06:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's not Friday anymore. But, it's still close. So, off I go!

1. HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU SPEND ON THE COMPUTER A DAY?
A lot. With the home schooling program we do being online, I spend most of the day there. And I multi-task between that, FB, Blogs, and many other things! And then in the evening I get right back on..

2. WILL YOU PAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S COLLEGE OR RAISE THEM TO PAY FOR THEIR OWN?
My kids will need to pay for their own college, and they know this..and they still want to go. College is a life choice, it's not mandatory. I figure they've got a pretty good deal..I pay for everything for 18 years, not asking for, wanting, or expecting any repayment. They can pay for what happens after 18. :)

3. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT?
A few, but none of them were my fault. Honestly. An older (by older I mean ancient) man decided that the unprotected turn signal meant that he could go when and/or whenever he wanted..even into the side of our car. Then, a few years later, a dirt biker came up over a hill and didn't expect to see my car on the side of the road (we had heard them so we pulled off to wait) and freaked out, losing control of his bike and running it into the entire side of my car..ripping my tire apart and making a huge turd out of the rest of it. There had been many who came over the hill before him, they did just fine with our car on the side of the road..but he, apparently, thought our Ford wagon was straight from an alien planet. Poor guy. He and his friends spent the rest of the day towing us back to town and fixing our car up good enough so we could go home (we were a long ways from home). While, I sat in their living room overlooking the river, his friend feeding us. Pretty nice, right? Even then, the Lord took care of me. :) We had to drive about 5 miles/hr all the way home down the windy mountain..it took hours. Everyone driving behind us hated us.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?
Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. I know I've said it a million times. But you MUST READ THIS BOOK.

5. DO YOU MAKE YOUR BED EVERY DAY?
I go in phases. But, it's almost always at least 'pulled up'..just not made special.

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Have a wonderful Saturday, friends! Love you, bunches. You're never alone. :)

We'll chat soon...

2010-03-12T12:10:00.001-07:00

It's taken me a week to get to this! Eek. I'm slipping! Anyway, Jennifer over at The Days I'll Remember gave me a Beautiful Blogger award last week. How very fun was that to see! So, now I will give a few awards :) If you feel the itch to do so, go ahead and post 3 awards on your page! It's fun :)

First, I just have to give Jennifer the award right back! Her blog, The Days I'll Remember, is SO beautiful in every way. It's inspiring, it's funny, it's filled with amazing photography and wonderful moments which are beautifully described in words that come straight from the heart. She frequently makes me giggle, cry, and praise the Lord with her. Her blog is a treasure, and so is she. Love you, Jennifer!

My second award goes to Aurora. I always get excited when I see a new blog pop up with her name on it. :) She is so profound. She challenges and comforts the reader. She reminds us that though the storm rages, there is a Mighty God who comforts more than any human can. Plus, her page flair is just so cute!!

My third award has to go to Val over at Where Am I? . I've known Val for about 12 years now. We've been through a lot! We've grown a lot! And I just love reading her blog, being part of her amazing journey. Watching her come out of her cacoon and FLY like a beautiful butterfly is an amazing thing. I just love her severe and brutal honesty. Her refusal to sugarcoat things. And her rock solid determination to GROW. Love you VFowler! The Lord has an AMAZING future planned just perfectly for YOU!

Gosh, it's hard to choose just 3 awards..I love all of the blogs I read. But these 3 came to mind first today :) Love you all!

We'll chat soon..

2010-03-08T11:59:00.001-07:00

The kids were with their Grandparents this weekend. It was sooo nice to have a weekend with my sweet hubby. We had an awesome time. Went out to dinner and a movie on Friday night. And, Laura, I thought of you because they sang "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" quite a few times!! urrrg Anyway, Saturday we just laid around, watched some shows we'd been behind on and then had some friends over for games, dinner and a movie. We may have done something else on Saturday, seems like we went out for some reason. But, I can't remember. Then on Sunday we relaxed, caught up on a few more shows, talked about some passages in the Bible I'd been reading and then went into town to get smoothies, and the kids :) Then Chris asked if I would go to drama practice with him and Ash. So, we did. Wow, that's a long day of drama. Fun to see how they are all progressing, but very mentally draining. I gotta give claps (do the clap clap!) to Georgiann, Crystal, Laura and my hubby. They really have a heart for the kids, and the kids for them.

The sun is out again today, but it keeps getting covered by those pesky clouds. We've even had a bit of rain. Hello, spring, I think this is you!

Well, I don't have much to share. I haven't blogged in awhile. I do need to give some awards. I will have to do that later when we aren't so busy with school work. Hope you are all having a wonderful Monday! Love you much.

We'll chat soon...

formspring.me

2010-03-03T16:56:00.001-07:00

What the hake is this site ... seems a little to personal for you Sarah.

Who says "hake" anymore, I mean really. But, I like it.

Too personal?? Name a question you've ever asked that I didn't answer. Go ahead..

Ask me anything

Grass, and birds, and sunshine, OH MY!

2010-03-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday I noticed..hey, the grass is turning green again. I smiled. And I saw a few birds on the bird feeder next door and got all excited, telling hubby that they {birds} are starting to think about coming back! And then this morning, the skies are bright blue and clear..AND THERE ARE BIRDS EVERYWHERE!!!

Spring REALLY IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was it really God that showed up? Or was it you.

2010-03-02T23:54:00.003-07:00

Well, it's Tuesday. Weigh in day. Yeah, it bugs me that it's on a Tuesday, too. Weird day. But, that's ok. It is what it is. I quit lifting weights and have been noticing a difference in the weight. I just don't care about weights right now. I want the weight gone. So, today I was down to 152. Haven't been this light in over 8 years. Kinda nice. :) Even nicer is how my spirit is feeling. I feel so much lighter spiritually. The Lord is amazingly faithful.

It bugs me when people say, "God really showed up!" Um..God doesn't change. He doesn't move. We do. GOD didn't show up, YOU did, when you finally decided to look UP and OUT of your circumstances and put your focus on His marvelous face. He stands at the door and knocks. It's YOUR choice to let him in, or not. Therefor, what you should really say is, "I SHOWED UP, OPENED THE DOOR, AND WELCOMED DADDY IN FOR A PLAY DATE!" He wants to talk with you, dance with you, listen to you, minister to you, laugh with you, wipe away your tears. But He won't push His way in where He is not welcome. He LONGS for intimacy with you. Open the door. Show up. If you want what He has to offer you, you HAVE to show up. You can't collect a paycheck unless you show up for work. Why do you expect to have intimacy with Christ if you don't show up? It's not His job to "show up", He never left. He's been standing at the front door of your heart, with a smile, arms open, gifts in hand..why won't you answer the door? If your child was standing at the door, excited to show you something he had prepared just for you, and he was knocking..would you ignore him/her? Would you turn him/her away? Don't turn your Father away. He loves you with a love that exceeds all expectation or imagination. Let Him love you. Show up.

I was listening to a message online and the speaker said: "Inside of you is a treasure without measure. For He inhabits the praises of His people." I thought, wow, that is so true. I'm not just a body. I'm a vessel, holding a treasure with value beyond measure. But, the only way I can truly appreciate/embrace/use that treasure is if I actively PRAISE. It's in the praising that we truly see Him and know the many treasures he has given us. I can read my Bible, listen to worship, etc, but until I PRAISE Him, I cannot truly embrace the treasure that He has planted inside of me. I cannot truly be inhabited by Christ. Of course He is always with me. But, until I welcome Him to inhabit my deepest innermost being by PRAISING Him, I am not able to grasp all that He has for me. I go back to kids..if my child brings me a piece of artwork that he/she has worked on for days and it soo very proud of him/herself, would I just say, "Good job. Proud of you." Or would I say, "Wow! You have done such a wonderful job! I can really see how much work you've put into this! I can see all of the colors and the beautiful shapes and details. You amaze me with your commitment to making this your very best project yet!" I mean we go on and on praising our children, right? Making sure that they know that they are truly valued and loved. We tell our friends about them, we post pictures of them, we relay stories all over town about their accomplishments. Do we do the same, and with the same excitement, for our Father? It's in the PRAISING that we truly encounter Him.

I see so many hurting, lashing out, closing off, pushing away. And it breaks my heart. How much more does it hurt the Father to see his children hurting, and hurting others? I can't imagine. Grace and love can cover the hurt, if you let it. Don't allow the enemy to find any foothold. Before you know it, that one little thing you can't let go of will be the beginning of a huge yoke of bondage in your life. It's not worth it. There is nothing worth holding onto in anger. Give it to your Father and chose to move on in love. Every decision you make is shaping your future. Why not make the choice now to make your journey one of beauty and forgiveness instead of marring it with hurt and anger in which you will have to deal with later. Fervently pursue peace. You can find peace through praise. If you are busy praising, it means you are being inhabited by the Holy Spirit. And it means that you have no room for bitterness. The Holy Spirit and bitterness do not co-habitate. So, let it go. Let go of the hurt and the anger and the disappointment. Look UP. The Father can heal every single wound. But, again, you must open the door and let Him in. And you must praise him, even through the storm. Do this and you will begin to see things in a whole new light. Things that were once murky will become clear. Old wounds will be healed. And you will fly. You will soar on wings of eagles. You will dance with your Father. He longs to help you. He longs to hold you and take all of the pain away. He longs to show you love like you've never experienced. But, it's up to you.

Alrighty, I wasn't going to share any of that. I was going to blog about dieting and thank my friend, Michael for the chocolate oatmeal cookie (thank you, M!). But maybe someone out there in blogworld needed to hear it. Maybe we all do. I know I do. We all falter. But, it's time to get real. I've heard that statement so many times over the past few months in sermons and from meetings with friends, "It's time for His people to get REAL." Stop living behind the mask of perfection and instead admit that you need Him. You can't make it without Him. It's time to get REAL. And there is no shame in that. Because, you were never intended to be perfect. And you most certainly were never meant to make it a day without Him. It's ok. Just let it all go. The illusion of control is of no use to you, or anyone else. Be real, and open the door for your Father. He's waiting on you.

formspring.me

2010-03-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

What is one thing that really hurt your feelings, unlike any other rude thing?

Something that hurt me more than anything was/is seeing my kids' hearts hurt by those the look/looked up to. I hate to see kids' spirits broken. Adults are to be nurturing not destructive. Seeing my kids crying because of something someone they trusted said or did breaks my heart. Don't mess with my kids!!

Ask me anything

Being REAL!

2010-03-02T11:17:00.001-07:00

Our message at church on Sunday was really good and relevant. If you have time, give it a listen. Oh, come on, you have time. :) Be blessed..

http://www.kunalifechurch.com/audio/Being_Real.MP3

We'll chat soon..

formspring.me

2010-02-28T17:22:00.001-07:00

What makes you the happiest?

My Jesus. He lights up my world in every way. There is no darkness when the Father is with you. He illuminates even the darkest pit with His light and glory.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-28T00:55:00.003-07:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/SaritaConchita

Cupcakes, Back By Popular Demand!

2010-02-25T10:09:00.009-07:00

So, many of you have not heard of the cupcake that brought on my hissy fit the other night. How you have not seen them, I just can't fathom! I can see them from miles away. Anyhoo, I thought I would give you a picture, so you can know what you're lookin' for when you go in.. Here I give you the (drum roll please):

Starbucks Chocolate Chocolate Cupcake

And, if you are wanting a "cheat" night, it's really not all that bad! I mean, in comparison to say a slice of cheesecake from Cheesecake factory which can run you upwards of 1300 whopping calories!! (stay away from the Red Velvet Cheesecake there! Other options hover closer to between 500 and 700 cal) Of course, you could share a cheesecake and be, in general, doin super good! But, I don't like to share dessert. Never have. Never will.

Nutritional Info on the Chocolate Chocolate Cupcake:

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 1 cupcake

Amount per Serving

Calories 350

Calories from Fat 170

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 19g

29%

Saturated Fat 7g

35%

Trans Fat 0g

Cholesterol 10mg

Sodium 250mg

10%

Total Carbohydrate 44g

15%

Dietary Fiber 2g

Sugars 32g

Protein 3g

There are also other versions. There is a vanilla one, and then a red velvet one. The red velvet version is actually a bit less in the calorie department. But, I'm not interested in trying it. I want CHOCOLATE. And, I could drown in a tub of that chocolate frosting. Forget the cake part of the cupcake, I want that FROSTING..and the little dark chocolate disk on top? Divine. Just flippin divine.

A Couple Quotes I Just HAD To Share With You!

2010-02-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

These were too great not to pass on. So, here are a few bright shining stars from Joyce Meyer! Be blessed :)

Battles are fought in our minds every day.When we begin to feel the battle is just too difficult & want to give up, we must choose to resist negative thoughts & be determined to rise above our problems.We must decide that we’re not going to quit. When we’re bombarded with doubts & fears,we must take a stand & say: "I’ll never give up! God’s on my side. He loves me, & He’s helping me! I’m going to make it!

----

Instead of concentrating on your problems and getting discouraged, focus on God and meditate on His promises for you. You may have fallen down, but you don't have to stay down. God is ready, willing and able to pick you up.

----

Brother and Sister So & So are not your standard; Jesus is."

----

Woohoo! Aren't those fantastic!! Loved them. Anyway, choose to have a wonderful day, friends! Run YOUR race, you weren't called to run So & So's race. Focus on His face, and run YOUR race!! (I know, I totally rhymed just then. Sweet!)

We'll chat soon..

Starbucks has failed me. Was bound to happen.

2010-02-23T23:18:00.004-07:00

It's our little J mans birthday today. We took him out for dinner tonight and then to Starbucks to get cupcakes. These are my most favorite cupcakes. And I had been looking forward to having one alllll day. REALLLLY looked forward to it. It is the only "cheat" food that is absolutely worth every last dang calorie and butt dimple. Every single one.

As you know I have to build myself up for these cheats. Have to make sure I am in the right frame of mind. Even though it's a "cheat" I am reworking my brain so that it is not something I see as a possible gorge and/or failure in the "diet" department, but rather, something I see as nothing more than a nice treat. I eat it, I enjoy it, I'm done with it. I don't crave 40 more (which would be divine, and I could totally do it), I am fine with one. Satisfied. It's all about where I am spiritually. Trying to get to a place where I don't look to food to satisfy any emotional need. It's a struggle for me in the purest form of hell.

Anyhoo..I was so excited for this cupcake. I had gotten to a place where I was ready to eat it. It was going to be a nice moment for the family because the kids had not had one yet. It was to be their first time. And they have wanted one for a long time. I was excited because I was ready to eat it without feeling guilty, or like a failure, or like I wanted 40 more. I was just primed and ready. YAY! GO ME! RAH! No. Epic fail incoming.

We drive up to Starbucks. From the parking spot I can see the goody case. And the cupcake plate is empty. I say, "Babe, that plate had BETTER not really be empty, cuz it LOOKS EMPTY." (my mood begins to change). Chris says, "I'm sure they have some babe." Mmhmm, I'm a chubby girl who loves cupcakes. I can clearly see when there ARE and ARENT cupcakes. I have cupcake radar. But, we go in.

I walk up..they say, 'Hi! What can we get for you?" in their normal beautiful, wonderful, caring, sweet Starbucks employee selves (I LOVE the SBUCKS employees. They are seriously stellar, even though they failed me tonight.)

I say, "Please tell me that you have more cupcakes in the back." (hairs beginning to raise on the back of my neck.)

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, we're out."

"Ok, thanks. Let's go guys."

As I am half way out the door, Chris (who is still standing at the goody case) says, "Babe, they have Cranberry Bliss Bars, want one of those?"

I say, "NO, Bliss Bars are for Christmas. This is CUPCAKE season." and I leave.

The kids are close behind me, also peeved. Chris is now outside as well, I open the car door, get into my seat in a huff and scream at the top of my lungs.

**Sidenote: I realize that I am being totally irational, infantile, and completely stupid. I get it.**

One of the kids in the back seat starts yelling too..they can't hold a candle to Momma, they quit. I bury my head in my hands and ~~maniacly~~ quietly laugh and cry.

**Sidenote #2: My son threw a fit much like this at Red Robin a few years back after he didn't get a balloon. He was 6. He got spanked.**

Chris: "Babe, want me to go to another Starbucks?"
Sarah: ....silence....(head still in hands, still laughing silently, tears flowing)
Chris: "Babe, you have GOT to pull it together." (he is laughing so hard he's crying)
J: Daddy, She's upset, don't laugh at her. It's not nice.
A: laughing so hard she can't breath, but keeping it quiet.
Sarah: "I AM TRYING to pull it together, just give me a moment."
Chris: "Babe, want me to go to another Starbucks?"
Sarah: "NO, I cannot take another failure."
Chris, "Babe, where do you want to go? Soon you won't have another choice except Paul's (grocery store offering crappy desserts). *he's still laughing
Sarah: .....silence....

**Sidenote #3: So many things going through my brain..the enemy telling me to forget it all. It's all ruined. Just screw it. Go eat everything I can find. The Lord telling me, "Breathe, daughter. Daddy loves you. It's just a set back. Let's work through this. Let Daddy help. Breathe, princess, just breathe." Sarah saying, "I hate Paul's desserts. Why even have one...I'm at the point where I just want to bash something into a million pieces. Just to get the rage out. But, it's not rage. It's a battle. A battle between the old me and the new me. And, just like lastnight..Daddy and I won. Tonight was MUCH more intense. But, we won.**

While I am trying to calm down, head still in hands, etc., Chris starts singing and humming along to some song from Air1 (Christian radio) that says "aaaaaah aaaaah, wanna get out of here."

I'm like, "It would be VERY helpful if you would STOP singing a song with lyrics that directly identify with my feelings right now. That is the song they will play when I'm stuck in the padded room!!"

He laughs again. I laugh. I bring my head up and out from my hands. I breathe. I'm ok. (time elapsed on hissy fit: 5 minutes..felt like 5 days)

So, anyway, we end up going to Paul's. I'm still coming down from the nasty battle. But, it's getting better. Ash stays with me and we find something that we both want. We eat Ice Cream Drumsticks. They are 310 calories a piece. More than I usually like to have for a snack. But, a good "cheat". I am happy with it. Truly happy. And I enjoy it without reservation. I enjoy it without longing for the rest of the box. I enjoy it without looking to it for my comfort. I enjoy it without it being the source of my joy. Thank you, Jesus.

Who knew that a simple cupcake could cause such extreme havoc in my life? Baby steps people. Baby steps.

I'm feeling good now. :) I tell you what..going through this journey of losing weight the right way, focusing on the spirit instead of the pounds is friggen hard work. But, the Lord is SO faithful. He is there every step of the way. Whether I'm throwing an absolutely friggen embarassing fit, or whether I'm dancing in joy..He is there. He's promised He will never leave us and He holds true to that promise.

I love my Father God. And, He loves me. His banner over me declares "LOVE!" to the world. And, I love my family. My crazy silly loving family who is right there with me through it all. Encouraging, loving, laughing..my family is a blessing.

I still want a cupcake.

To Gorge, Or Not To Gorge..

2010-02-22T23:43:00.000-07:00

Fighting the urge to gorge on anything I can get my hands on today. It's been awhile since I've had a struggle this intense. Awhile as in a week or so. Which is really good for me since I used to gorge on something almost daily. And the choice to walk away from that "control" has been a serious test of will.

I had hit a plateau in the weight loss once I started adding in weights. Had been at 154 for 3 weeks I think. But, my body was/is still shrinking so I knew I was doin ok. And then this morning I went in and had finally gotten down to 153 from 154. I was super excited to break through the barrier..but then about an hour later the little gorging demon started chiming in. And then he brought friends. And they brought friends. But I brought the Ultimate Friend. And with my Daddy God's help, not only did I not give into the gorge, I actually ate less than normal. So, as the Bible says: "GET BEHIND ME SATAN!" I'm not foolin around with that dude anymore. He had his fun with me for long enough. In every situation we have a choice. I'm choosing to move forward, eyes firmly focused on the prize.

Love you!

We'll chat soon..

2010-02-21T21:38:00.002-07:00

Here is another update on Abby:

Dear Friends & Family,

Gayle told us that the surgeon decided to hold off on doing the surgery on Abby's intestine for now. He put a tube into her abdomen to drain fluid, and he's hoping the hole in her intestine will heal by itself. She's currently being fed by IV, bypassing her digestive tract. Please keep her in prayer about all of this.

Thanks to everyone who is faithfully praying for this family, and sending encouraging notes.

Love,

Brenda
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Update on one of the triplets, and Uncle John

2010-02-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hey, all! The excitement never ceases around here. :) Please keep Abby and the rest of the family in your prayers today. I believe all of the girls are on and off of ventilators at this point, which is not uncommon. They have good days and bad days, also not uncommon. Here is the update from this morning:

Hi Everyone,

We just got this urgent prayer request from our sister-in-law, Jill. Please pray for Abby.

"We just got a call from Jackie. Abby seems to have a small hole in her intestine, so she will be going in for surgery this morning to repair the hole. She looks good so the doctors feel that they caught it early and this seems to be a fairly common occurrence with preemies. Al and Jackie will call us later to let us know how it goes. They are on their way to church. Bert and Gayle asked them to go to church so they can be praying, while Gayle and Bert are going to the hospital. Thanks for your prayers!"

Love,

Brenda and Perry

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In other news my Uncle John passed away this morning. My Dad was able to lead him to the Lord before he slipped into a coma a few days later. We are SO thankful for that! And then last night Dad was able to lead John’s wife, Nina, to the Lord as well. So, God is on the move! They are probably in the process of talking to Gramma about his passing right now. So if you could please keep her in your prayers. She has great peace that he finally accepted Christ, but doesn’t know yet of his passing. Also, please keep Dad in your prayers (and Mom, too!), they’ve got a lot of stress right now between this situation and Gayle and other things as well. They both sounded great this morning, so that was encouraging. Dad says that this is a day for rejoicing because the Father has 2 more people who have accepted His son. And, this is so very true! Also, Mom and Dad are flying down to TX tomorrow to be with John’s wife Nina. Dad will have a chance to talk with Uncle John’s daughter, Amy, as well as my other Uncle David. He hopes to be able to lead them to the Lord as well. So, sad news in that Uncle John passed, but wonderful news in that God has (as always) turned this sad situation into one of rejoicing. Dad says, for the first time, Uncle John is at peace. What a joy that is.

Thanks for your continued prayers, we love and appreciate you!

2010-02-19T16:43:00.003-07:00

OK my Homeschoolin Mama friends! I have a question.

As many of you know we started homeschooling J this year after a teacher straight from the deepest pit of Hades made contact with Momma Bear. We chose Connections Academy for him. And, minus a few hiccups, which were to be expected, we love it.

Here's the question...A will join us for homeschool after she is done with this "year" of school. She will be going into 9th grade. High School. Ok, I said the question was up there, but it's not. It's here:

Which program should I choose?

1. Connections Academy
2. ISucceed Virtual Academy

I've heard some good things about IS, but their program looks, umm, boring? Just kinda plain white, no excitement or color. Ash and I like to be visually stimulated. I'm not sure this would be the best option for her, because of that. Also it doesn't seem as easy to navigate as CA is. BUT, I have heard that they (IS) have a lot more online support and Live Lessons than does CA. So that could be a huge plus.

Then we have CA..I already know how to navigate it, because we have J in it. It's colorful, it's pretty. It's very straight forward and gives lots of help. Also has LiveLessons and a 24/7 Math help website. Big plus. But, as far as I can tell, it doesn't offer as many extra programs as IS does.

Do any of you know anything about either of these programs at the High School level?

*I'm not interested in doing any other form of Homeschooling. Although I would love to be able to say I could be accountable on my own and juggle lesson plans, etc., I can't. Correction: YES, I COULD. But I would also probably become an alcholic and go absolutely insane and require hospitalization. SO, these two are my top choices. I know there is also The Idaho Virtual Academy..but I just don't want that program, not real sure why. Just don't.

Another question...I would like to get some extra Christian material for the kids. Maybe a Bible Study type thing we could all do together. Nothing that needs to be turned in to anyone or graded, just a great study that we could do daily throughout the year..maybe ones that come with workbooks.

We'll chat soon..

Email from Gayle re: the babies!

2010-02-17T09:12:00.001-07:00

Here is this mornings update from Gayle on the babies!

Wow!!! I'm a mother times three. It's a bit surreal right now that I dont have babies in my belly anymore. My contractions this afternoon picked up in frequency and pain level despite heavy medication and valiant efforts by the doctors here, who are considered the best in the world at dealing with multiples and preemies. I was fully dilated so I had to have an emergency c-section. They were born at 24 weeks, 6 days.

Abigail Grace was born at 4:54 pm MST at 1lb5oz

Isabella Pearl was born at 4:55 pm at 1lbs 8oz

Simone Renee at 4:56 pm at 1lbs7oz

They were only able to measure one in the craziness... But they estimate they are all about 12 inches. 17 nurses and doctors were in OR and baby room next door during the quick reaction c-section.

So far they are hanging in there. They are most concerned about Isabella and believe that she is the one who lost amniotic fluid when I abrupted back on Jan. 11th because her fluid was murky. They are making no promises and told us to take it day by day. But our God is powerful and these girls are fighters. They guesstimate they will probably be in the NICU until the so called due date, which is June 2nd.

I'm recovering, but have a fever and high blood pressure. We are praying that my body will respond quickly to get these under control.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

We are praising the Lord that they have made it thus far. A couple of nurses who were here with me back when I abrupted admitted to me recently that they gave my pregnancy little chance of continuing back at week 20. They continue to be our miracle girls.

Much thanks and gratitude... God bless,

Gayle
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And here is an email from Brenda this morning regarding Gayle:

Perry talked with his dad this morning (9:00pm Tuesday), and learned a few details. The girls' names are Abigail, Isabella and Simone. Isabella is having some difficulties breathing on her own, so she is now on a ventilator. Please pray for strength for each of the babies. They are good size for their age: 1lb. 5oz., 1lb. 7oz., and 1lb. 8oz. However, that is still very small, and they have just begun a new journey toward strength and health 'on the outside'. Gayle is also having some high blood pressure issues.

Please continue to lift this precious family before God's throne today. Thank you so much.

Love,

Brenda

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We'll chat soon ..

2010-02-16T23:02:00.002-07:00

Oopsy .. I sorta kinda was cleaning out the list of blogs I follow and deleted some that I didin't mean to. If it was you, please tell me!!!

3 Angels have arrived!

2010-02-16T19:32:00.002-07:00

Here is the latest update on the Gayle situation! As many of you know she has been pregnant with triplets and has been experiencing serious problems since week 19. I believe she was getting ready to start her 25th week. Anyway, many prayers have gone out and I'm happy to give this report, just in!

Hi Everyone,

We're happy to tell you that Gayle and Bertrand's three daughters have arrived safely!!!! Praise the Lord for this! I don't have a lot of info yet, but they were each breathing on their own! Each girl has a team of four taking care of her. I may not have the spellings of their names right yet, but here they are: Abigail (Abby - Baby A), Isabella (Bella - Baby B), and Cimone (Baby C). Of course, please continue praying for them all, including their Mom. Praise the Lord for His hand of protection on their lives.

Love,

Aunt Brenda and Uncle Perry

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Please, continue to pray for these little miracle babies as they press on towards the goal of a long and wonderful life!

We'll chat soon..

Monkey Bars

2010-02-10T14:14:00.003-07:00

I'll be honest. I had no idea why I wrote the Title as Monkey Bars. It just came to mind. And then as I sat quiet for a moment and visualized myself on Monkey Bars it became more clear.

The act of using Monkey bars requires a few things.

-Climbing a small ladder

-Leaning out to take hold of the first bar

-Letting go of the ladder as you swing to the next bar

-Keeping focus on the finish line (looking UP)

-Not looking back

-You can't do it with only one arm - you must give it full attention

-Keeping your feet up off of the ground so they don't drag

-The will to finish

Yep, now I can TOTALLY see why Monkey Bars popped into my head. Thank you, Jesus, for that sweet little nugget!

Ooh and a verse just popped into my head! Goes along with the Monkey Bars perfectly..

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
~Philippians 3:13-14 The Message

YAHOO!! Make it a great day, no reason not to. It's, afterall, all up to you! Love you.

We'll chat soon..oh..and no, that's not me in the picture. ;)

Turks and Caicos, take me away!

2010-02-06T11:26:00.001-07:00

Ok, forget Fiji..I've moved on to Turks and Caicos. Here are a few photos that will help you join me in my NEED for Turks and Caicos!!!

This is where I will take walks with my sweetie:

And this is where my sweetie and I will have massages:

And this is where my sweetie and I will enjoy nice cool drinks:

Ok, I still want to go to Fiji super bad. But, Turks and Caicos can be my first stop on the way to Fiji :)

Happy Saturday!

The weight of control

2010-02-04T15:38:00.001-07:00

So, there I was..being my usual sarcastic self..and wow, did it produce! I was kidding around with my buddy that he should write a blog about me (he didn't have anything to write about, so didn't feel like blogging). Before I knew it, he had actually done it! Blogged about lil ol' me! It was the sweetest thing ever. Just what I needed! Fun :) Thanks, Mike, you are such a blessing to me.

I haven't updated you on my weight junk lately, so..after Christmas I was 167. I think it was 3 weeks ago that we started and I was at 160 (had already lost the Christmas weight). Today I am 154. I'm getting there! My target is somewhere between 135 and 140..I won't really know where I want to stop till I see what I look like then. I don't want to be all skin and bones. I have a tendancy to be one or the other..way too skinny, or chubby. Not good with that grey area. I know, go figure..me? Not good with the grey area? LOL We're not crash dieting, just changing our eating and adding in workouts. So it's more of a complete change of life for us. Even though we ate really pretty healthily before, our portions were insane. And we had desserts almost every night. And the whole work out thing? I don't like community sweat. BUT, this gym out here is so full of NORMAL people, it's fabulous. But, I'm getting ahead of myself with the gym talk..

Anyhoo..as I told you, the weight issue is not just a matter of pounds for me..it's emotional. And, as I grow in spirit and shrink in size, more and more comes to the surface. I'm dealing with so many ghosts of the past. Doesn't make for a stable Sarah! I'll share with you some of the things I am dealing with, because I've had many people ask. Why they ask, not sure..I guess it's just interesting for some reason or another.

When I was a kid, I was always super skinny and very tall. People would react to me in two different ways..wow, you are beautiful..so skinny and tall. Such long legs. I wish I had long legs like you! I wish I could eat like you and not gain weight! Wow, you just say you want to lose 5 pounds and bam, you've done it!..............................

Or...

You've got chicken legs (insert bawking sounds), you're soooo skinny, your ankles are so boney. If you turn sideways we wouldn't be able to see you.........................

blah blah blah blah

So, because of the numerous chicken legs comments, I literally wore shorts umm never. It wasn't until we moved to Texas in 2003 that I started wearing them again. It took a major step out of my comfort zone to do that. But, dang, it's so hot in Texas I didn't ultimately care if I had skin falling off of my bones, I was wearing the flippin shorts!!

The negative comments didn't bother me as much as the "positive" ones. I didn't want people gawking at me. I never wanted people looking at my body (which stemmed from other experiences). I wanted them to look at ME. It's always, always bothered me how people look at someone and the first thing they will say is "They're fat." "They're skinny" "They're beautiful" "They're ugly"...why is that the FIRST thing? Can't we look deeper? Could we get to know someone? Could we see the beauty that lies beyond the physical? Of course, I deeply believe that that which lies beyond the physical is manifested ouwardly in the physical. But, you see where I'm going with that..I hope.

So, it started to become a thing where I just wanted to eat. I wanted to prove to EVERYONE that I could eat whatever I wanted. And I noticed that as I gained weight, people quit gawking at me! They quit constantly talking about how pretty I was. About how skinny I was (duh)..and I loved it. Finally, there was silence. FINALLY, they started to get to know ME instead of just assuming who I would be. It was great! But, there were still random occasions where someone would say, "I don't know how you do it, Sarah, how you eat all of that and still stay so slim." It was at those moments that everything in me SCREAMED and I literally wanted to eat EVERYTHING I could get my hands on. Just to get them to SHUT UP. And, I usually did. I'm not talking reality tv show Intervention style where they eat 5 big mac meals and then move on to Taco Bell. I'm just talking eating an entire family sized bag of M&M's, a snickers, a reeses pb cup king size, a big bopper ice cream sandwich, loads of mashed potatoes, a box of mac n cheese, a can of beans, a 1/4 of a sheetcake...whatever it was, I would eat till I wanted to puke and then eat a few more bites just for good measure. I never puked. I just wasn't into that whole deal. Never interested me. But, I have always been someone who wants to finish EVERYTHING on my plate, whether it leaves me rithing in pain afterwards or not. I must finish it.

Ok, so back to the beginning of this saga. I told my friend I'd do this "diet" with her..we aren't doing the same things. We are just losing together. And I have another friend who is working out with me..she's in Nevada, I'm in Idaho..but we work out Mon/Wed/Fri and then chat. It's GREAT! So, I'm like big deal..the weight's going and it's fine! Happy go lucky! But, then the Lord started workin on me. Like I said in a post a few days back (different context), the heart that is open to receive is never left empty. Well, He began filling what was once empty. Because I allowed Him to.

So..all of these comments that I told you about have been coming to mind. And then He lovingly asks, "Why did that bother you?" "Why wasn't it ok for them to say that?" "What about that made you run and hide?" "Why didn't you hide in Me, instead of hiding in the food?" "We could have worked on this. You didn't have to run. I understand what you are feeling." etc.... Ok, so as I deal with each of those questions for each of the instances it is very emotional. And, as a result I burst into tears over the stupidest little things that go wrong. For instance, our menu. The program is formatted in such a way that Chris and I read the menu date wrong and had the wrong meals one day. I had worked on putting this menu together for over 2 hours one night. I was upset it wasn't followed perfectly, that we had "messed it all up". SO, I have a total infantile breakdown and cry (while laughing..I know, weird..it's a Sarah thing), hunched over, resting my face on my husbands knee while he tries to encourage me.

It's not about the menu. It's about the control. Normally, at this point, I would say, "Forget it, I'm done. We'll just eat whatever we want." and then I would go shove my face full of something, just to show my body who's boss.

But, I hear my Jesus, "Daughter. Princess. I love you. Please stop crying. Look up. We can fix this. You are ok. Everything is ok. Just breathe. Be still." And, as I do that, He begins to walk me through it all. Why I broke down, where the anxiety is coming from, asking me to give over the control to Him. And, I do. Sometimes I have to say, "I give it all to you Lord" 400 times a minute. Yeah, that's a lot of times. But, I'm growing. And, I am finding new joys that I haven't ever had. Yes, I'm a basket case sometimes. Yes, sometimes you can just look at me and I will cry. Yes, sometimes I can't even say a word without crying. Yes, sometimes I just laugh out of the blue. Yes, sometimes I get mad and yell over the dumbest things. BUT! I am growing. Thank you, Jesus, I am growing.

We joined a gym on a leap of faith, because the money to join the gym was not there. One day later I got a call, asking for my help..which results in money for me. They didn't know that we had just signed a 2 yr contract paying $80/mo and had no money to pay for it. They just needed my help. And turns out that the money will not only cover the gym membership, but it will also allow me to increase my grocery budget by 120 dollars a month, which is so sorely needed. Thank you, Jesus. Your love never, ever fails. Ever.

We went to the gym for the first time last night. I made a big step and asked Chris if he would please be my "trainer" and help me with the machines. And if he would please stick with me, even if I threw a fit and told him I was done and never doing it again (which is what normally happens). He said, "Of course." He was so patient with me and we went through each of the machines and did them together. It was soo nice. I didn't feel that deep pit of anxiety in my gut that I usually do when we do things like that together.
(And, by "deep pit of anxiety" I mean the urge to want to slam my car into the building at mach speed over and over.) Instead, I just felt loved, and accepted, and free. Free to look stupid. Free to say it hurts. Free to go at my own pace. FREE.

God is doing a great thing in me. I always love to see the results that come when we give it all to Him. He is so overwhelmingly capable of fixing every single little thing, yet we continue to fight Him. Insistant on doing it on our own. Silly. Silly humans. I'm glad I'm doing it His way :)

I know many of you are on the weight loss journey right now, too. My word of encouragement to you is: Keep on moving. Keep your eye on the finish line. Keep your eyes on Him. Don't accept failure, accept freedom. It's yours for the taking. Love you

Isaiah 40:31

We'll chat soon..

My new favorite song

2010-02-03T00:04:00.000-07:00

I just love her voice...

Be Still
Kari Jobe

He is here for the broken and life to the one who is undone
He is peace to the wounded and hope for the helpless one
He is here, He is here

Be still my soul, be still
Be still my soul, be still
Wait patiently upon the Lord
Be still my soul, be still

When the waves rise against me and the wind tries to draw me away
I will stand on the mountain, safe in Your arms I will sing I will sing

Be still my soul, be still
Be still my soul, be still
Wait patiently upon the Lord
Be still my soul, be still

Be still I know He is God
He is here, He is here
Be still I know He is God
He is here, He is here

So be still my soul, be still
Be still my soul, be still
Wait patiently upon the Lord
Be still my soul, be still
Wait patiently upon the Lord
Be still my soul, be still

The heart that is open to receive is never left empty.

2010-01-31T23:36:00.003-07:00

Well, I'm not gonna lie. It's been a rough day. But, even on these days I can see God's hand. He is leading those who will allow Him. And that comforts me. He is always there for us. Always. The heart that is open to receive is never left empty. Today, my heart is full. But, His presence isn't always fully of happy giggles. He is whatever we need Him to be. He is the Great I Am. And today I needed His comfort through a difficult situation. And He gave it. And, sometimes, His comfort brings great tears. He is the ultimate Listener. The ultimate Salve for our wounds. There's a song that says:

I’ve got to see You Lord, I’ve got to see You.
Every day of my life, through the joy or the strife,
I’ve got to see You.
I’ve got to see You, Lord, I’ve got to see You.
In the calm or the storm, through the right or the wrong,
I’ve got to see You.

Today, I saw Him. Through all of it, I saw Him. My Daddy God. Who knows every part of me, and loves me unconditionally. His comfort brings more peace than I can even begin to tell you. And, I so needed it. He IS in control. Even when it doesn't seem like it, He is. All will see. All will see.

Very thankful for friends who love me. Who, without me saying a word just know. I appreciate that. And I love having people who I can turn to, to confide in without fear of judgement. Friends who don't twist my motives, or what I say. People who are honest. Thank you, Jesus, for the people you have placed in my life.

And, I am thankful for my husband. Who never leaves. Who is always, always there for me. Who gives the best hugs, and always smiles and SHOWS me how much he loves me. Anyone can say, "I love you." He SHOWS me he loves me, everyday.

I'm thankful for my kids who hug and love on me. Who honestly care about me, and who come to my defense when need be. They are so precious to me, even when they are stepping on my last nerve. :) These 2 children light up my world.

Lastly, I'm thankful for you. Thank you for reading. For commenting. For being my silent prayer warrior. For being that someone out there, somewhere, that cares. I love you. And, my prayer is that every time you visit this blog, you will be blessed. And that you will find something in the words I type that encourage you, and bring you joy.

We'll chat soon..

2010-01-30T02:05:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness, I COMPLETELY hosed my blog tonight. I don't know what I did, but it was all of the sudden totally crapped out. I had weird codes everywhere, all my stuff was gone..had to start completely over. GRR

This will do until after Valentines day. Have a great weekend! Love you guys!

Hairless Cats. EWW!

2010-01-27T21:23:00.002-07:00

The Thirst is Taking over by Skillet..LOVE IT! Have you heard it? It's on my playlist somewhere, but here's a YouTube for it. :)

It was a good..umm...stressful...successful..sunshiney day! Got my new Billy Blanks Boot Camp Ab Blaster DVD in the mail today (Netflix)..LOVE IT!!!! It's so great.

Have you listened to the song yet?

We got to have blueberry pancakes for dinner tonight with bacon! It was a bit of a splurge in the sugar/carb realm, but fit easily into the calorie marker. So, we did it :) The kids were excited. I ran out of greens last night so salads are out till payday. The kids will have a small reprieve. Is that how you spell reprieve? I don't think it is.

Helped Jess clean a house this morning..was nice to get out of the house! It's pretty sad when your only time to hang out with your friend is if you tag along on a job. :) She bought me a salad for helping her and it was DELISH!!! We were at Subway. I tell the guy I want the Grilled Chicken Breast Salad. (that is the title of it on the menu) He says, "Uh, what kind of chicken do you want?" All butthole-ish. I'm like uh..the kind that bocks? Dear Lord. I didn't say that to him. I just said, "Um, the Grilled Chicken Breast that it says it comes with. Whatever chicken you'd like to give me, don't care." He was sooo rude from beginning to end!! Oh well, he made a great salad. And, he wore gloves. Granted, he wore the same gloves to make my salad, work the oven, get the food bag, and close out the sale. So everything is contaminated, but that's ok. At least his hands are clean under the gloves.

We had major drama with tiny Greta puppy today! See..she's growing. And, although still extremely small..she's a jumper. A very talented jumper. She loves to jump from couch to couch to rocking chair to ground, and repeat. Well, today she jumped to the rocking chair and stood there for a second and then something happened and I hear all of this crashing and puppy screaming and crying and wimpering. She had somehow fallen off of the rocking chair and must have hit every different part of it, as well as the movie case on the way down. Felt SOOOOOO bad for her!!! Then later, I let her outside and kind of sort of got sidetracked and kind of sort of may have forgotten that I'd let her outside. Neighborhood kids came knockin' on the door..we ignore them. Then all of the sudden, I'm like ummm is Greta still outside? Chris looks at me bewildered. Oh crayap. I go outside and can hear the same kids talking to the neighbor and hear him saying "That's a small breed! She's cute. Where did you find her?" I run in and tell Chris, "THE NEIGHBOR HAS MY BABY, GO GET HER QUICK!!!" Mind you, the neighbor has 2 pit bulls that will eat Greta for a snack. Chris goes over and rescues her, brings her back into me. She was shaking she was so scared. I told Chris, "My baby has had a hard day. She is traumatized. I'm sitting down with her." After some cuddle time she felt better. *sigh* I was a bad puppy Mommy today :(

Have you ever seen one of these cats?

Yeah, hideous demons, right??? THESE are the cats that caused my allergy attack today! The ones that were at the house had very, very short hair..almost non existant. But, let me just tell you right now..when those things came running for me I FAREAKED OUT. I screamed bloody murder and ran for the kitchen and jumped up on the counter. Absolutely freaking hideously ugly nasty demons. I was having a panic attack. Jess had to "talk me down". I found the squirt bottle the lady uses for training them and used it on one of them to get it away from me. While I was mopping the floor on hands and knees I obviously couldn't also hold a water bottle .. one came meowing and looking like it wanted to touch me with one of it's freakishly long legs, so I hissed at it. It ran away. THESE CATS ARE BIG, PEOPLE! Jess was standing in the living room talking to me and one went up and rubbed himself on her leg and it's long snakey rat tail ALMOST touched her crotch! DISGUSTING.

Well, that's all I have for now. Love you!

Annoyances and Blessings

2010-01-26T22:36:00.004-07:00

Listening to someone talk with cotton mouth. One of the most annoying sounds in the world.

Employers who give you money that is proven to be yours only to decide (after you've spent it) that it really wasn't yours and they want it back, and it will wipe out your paycheck. But then they'll give you some of it back, later. One of the most annoying practices in the world.

People in power making random, round about, passive aggressive comments that break down instead of build up, in an effort to remove responsibility and step up another rung on the pride ladder. One of the most annoying actions in the world.

Educational establishments who can't figure out up from down and royaly screw up your schedule thus making your son do double work for no reason at all. One of the most annoying shows of incompetance in the world.

A governmental system that will only allow you to receive unemployment benefits shoud you be looking for a FULL time job, even though you HAVE a full time job but it just doesn't pay. No option for reduced benefit if you can only do a part time job. One of the most "I have your stuff but you can't have it" annoyances in the world.

A husband who loves you, and holds you in his strong, loving arms, and tells you how much he loves you, and how the Lord will take care of everything, and kisses your cheek, and smiles while looking into your eyes. One of the most precious moments in the world.

Children who adore you, and praise you, and compliment your meals, and do as they are asked without complaining, and find joy in the little things like a trip to the library. One of the hugest blessings in the world.

Puppies who run to cuddle and kiss on you, no matter your mood or how you may have just yelled at them to MOVE. One of the most silly yet enjoyable things in the world.

Just realizing that you've forgotten a load of laundry in the washing machine for 2 days. Well that's what we call the cherry on top of the turd cake.

Did someone say, cake?

Striving to be chubby-less

2010-01-24T16:01:00.004-07:00

Another week done, and the weekend is, too. It was a long one! Trying to think back on all that happened I just mostly have a whir of shapes and colors. I think it was a good one..but one can't be entirely sure! haha

I've had 2 meltdown moments with this diet so far. I didn't "fall of the wagon". But, as many of you know, losing weight isn't about losing the weight. It's a mental game. And the winning or losing comes in whether or not you allow yourself to grow through the experience thus causing true change..or if you just lose the physical weight but keep the emotional weight. I'm opting for the growth..the winning. But, in that, the loss of control is no good. I can see it both ways though. My flesh man is losing control. But my spirit man is gaining control. This is where I want to be. But dying to self/flesh is a daily (sometimes minutely) task. And there have been 2 nights where I just wanted to shove food in my mouth till I felt so sick that I had shown my body who is real boss..that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. And if it involves more food than any human should eat in one sitting (or 4), then sobeit. I've always said..I'm like a bulemic..only without the purging part. And I always laughed about it. But, it's really not all that funny. I know WHY I am this way. So in that I have kind of an advantage. I've been workin on it for awhile now..and as I've become more open, the Lord has revealed to me many instances that have shaped me into the person I am now as far as food goes. Now, it's just the process of healing those wounds (which were twisted..the words said by others were in no way wounding. I just twisted them until they were.) and growing spiritually while shrinking physically :) I've realized, as with most things, the more open I am with it, the less hesitant I am to talk about it with people. And, that's a big step :) I've had quite a few people tell me over the past few weeks that I do not need to lose weight, etc. Which is usually my line to other people. But..it's more about my insides than my outside. And, the big news there is..even with people telling me that I am skinny, thin, not in need of weight loss...I haven't had the usual overcoming need to then go shove my face full of food until I feel that no one will call me skinny anymore. So..growth! Yay :) Anyway..that's the update for now..

Oh, and I'm absolutely LOVING The Biggest Loser! This is my first season really watching. Are any of you watching?

Jaden is looking through 3 huge bags of hand-me-downs from is friends. He's found a white dress shirt that he loves. He says, "OH YES! It's a James Bond shirt!!" And now that he has it on he just told me, "There we go! Now, I'm James Bond! See? (I say, looks good!) I like it." He's so cute. We got him a belt yesterday and this morning as he was getting ready for church I hear him ask Chris, "Hey, Daddy? How do you dress so that your belt shows?"   Yesterday he told us the things he's come up with so far for his Birthday wish list. First item: more Levi's. Second item: money so that he can buy a pretzel at Target. Third item: a DSI. I told him the third request is out. Chris offered to just buy him a pretzel but NO. J is VERY firm on this. He ONLY wants the money. He MUST buy it on his own. :)

I haven't seen Ash enough to know any cool stories she may have. But she is getting very good at jumping over the gate we have blocking off the hallway (from the dogs) like a Gazelle. She likes us to watch as she does this. She is also going to start doing Tae Bo with Chris and I. She's all excited. Wants us to get the Hip Hop version..we might. If we do, then J will join us, too.

On tonights menu, Pasta e Fagioli with salad and a balsamic vinagrette dressing.

Have a great rest of your Sunday. Love you much! One more thing..we were going over 2 Chronicles 20 in church today. And my favorite part is the part that is in Jason Upton's song, he says, "I don't know what to do, I don't even have a clue. But my eyes are on you Lord." Here aee the snippets of my fave section:

...We have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."

...Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "

...As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

...The fear of God came upon all the kingdoms of the countries when they heard how the LORD had fought against the enemies of Israel. 30 And the kingdom of Jehoshaphat was at peace, for his God had given him rest on every side.

----

Isn't that awesome! Even when our lives are downright scary and the enemy is encamped around us (bills, naysayers, gossips, liars, etc) we can have faith that our God will take care of us. We just need to fix our eyes on Him, and follow His leading. We must sing and praise! He left not even ONE enemy standing. Every single one was defeated. And then, when He has won the battle, He floods us with His Holy REST on EVERY side. His requirements? That we are READY and in POSITION! He commands us to NOT be discouraged, to NOT give into fear.  For if we are truly ready and in position, we will be in Him. And in HIM, discouragement and fear cannot exist. If you are praising and singing, there is little room for outside influence. Because your focus is on HIM!  Yahoo!

Would your child say this?

2010-01-21T10:39:00.001-07:00

I got this from the Empowering Christian Women blog. The video is so beautiful. I love it when the little girl says: "I need you to tell me I'm precious." Thought you Mom's n Dad's would enjoy this, too. Hug on your kids today :)

What are you speaking to your child? Are you choosing to speak positive, affirming and uplifting words OR negative, demeaning and destroying words?

“What you say can mean life or death. Those who speak with care will be rewarded.” ~ Prov. 18:21 NCV

Help Haiti

2010-01-19T22:03:00.002-07:00

Found 2 new ways to help those in Haiti and others around the world today! The first one is free. We can all help that way, right? Go to http://www.freerice.com/ You just answer quiz questions (english/math/art, etc) and every one you get right they donate grains of rice to be given to those in other countries. You can donate up to 5000 grains/day. It's a fun (and mega addicting) way to pass the time AND you are helping others. Win, win!

The other way is by donating $ by going to www.wfg.org/haiti. Or, text the word FRIENDS to 90999 to give $5.

Alrighty then..Gayle is back home. She spent 12 hours in the doctors office yesterday waiting for a contraction (the home machine showed she had been having them regularly) and never had one contraction..faulty machine? God? Both? Either way, she's home and hopefully RESTING! :) The babies are all happy and have lots of good fluid in their little incubating bubbles. heehee

We watched FAME! tonight. It was silly but entertaining. I can't say I'd watch it again, but it was a good 2 hours spent!

Of the most annoying spirits...would you say mocking is one of them? Or would we go lying? Or could we possibly do a combo deal? Just wondering.

Chris submitted his time off requests for the year, today. I am so excited! I just love that whenever he takes time off, I get it too. As in, I won't still be going to work somewhere. Beautiful! This home schooling gig is awesome! Not only do I get totally invaluable time with my son, but I get time off too!! Lots of it!

MLK day yesterday. Was happy to see more posts about him than I had expected. Always nice to be happily surprised. He was an amazing man. I hope that in Heaven I get to meet him. I know....I don't need to hear it..I know we will have new bodies..I know most believe (and probably correctly) that we won't look the same..but still..looking the same or not..spirit or not..I have to believe that that man will be recognizable.

The ol' diet is going well, we think. The scales battery died so we are kinda in the dark. But just continuing on as normal. We should really start working out. I need an accountability buddy and I don't have one. Someone who comes pounding on my door everynight, rain or shine, and says, "Get yer shoes on, we're goin now!" I don't have that. Which brings me to my next topic...self reliance.

Is it really necessary to have others motivate "you"? Is it really necessary to be part of a group in order to fulfill what you feel you have been called to do? Is it really? Is it necessary for me? What if I just decided, accountability partner or not, I am taking control of my own life and walking rain or shine. What if I just decided, church family/community group or not, I can fullfill my calling simply because I know it's what I've been called to do. The walking part, yes. The calling part, yes. But, you know what? I believe God put more than one person on this planet for a reason. For accountability. For fellowship..because when in a group things get accomplished and morale is higher. Because where 2 or more are gathered in His name...

So..I'll just leave that for ya to gnaw on. I don't want to be stagnant. But, I don't feel I've been called to be an army of one in the area outside of "walking".

Was approached the other day with a job ... personal chef. Wasn't sure what to feel about it at first. I mean, it's serving. I like that. Love blessing others where I can. And this is a definite way to do it. Can do it from home. It's in the planning stages. Praying.

Was approached with another job opportunity... JUS. Given to me for free, if I will give it a good shot. I'm just not sure if I want to get involved in another MLM. I will not go to someones house and pitch my sale. I won't call someone and pitch my sale. Those 2 factors alone probably cut me out, right? Is it possible that I could do this via FB, Twitter, Blog, Website? Not sure. I will find out. If someone wanted me to go talk to them about it that would be fine, but I am in no way interested in soliciting that way. Will have a meeting on this later this week probably. Praying.

Drama practice is overwhelming this year for Chris and Ash directly. And for Jaden and I somewhat indirectly. But when I get to the point where I just want to scream, "NO MORE!" (It's only the second week for goodness sake), I remember how amazing it is when they get to the performances. And all of the tears in the audience, and the cheering, and all of the glory being given to the Lord. Lives being affected. And then I remember, this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it.

I guess that's all I really have to say. Actually, I think I've been rambling for awhile now. But, I love you :)

OH..As you know, my blog is: Life is Change. Growth is Optional. But, I found a version of it today that I love, love, love! It is: "It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."

Prayer, friends, and diets, oh my!

2010-01-17T23:18:00.001-07:00

Gayle is back in the hospital due to contractions. Please pray with us that they stop. Also, for Gayle that she would stay still and on bed rest as the doctors have asked. It's so hard to be still when you start to feel better. Especially for someone so active. But rest is what is needed. Hopefully they can get the contractions to stop and she can go home. Still no sign of infection, though, so that is good! Thanks :)

We did well at the TBQ match in Nyssa on Saturday. The kids had fun, and so did we! Then we came home and ran back out for my brother and sister in laws birthday party. Another fun time!

Friday night (I know, I should have started with Friday..) we had our friend Jen and her kiddos over for a "playdate" while our men went and saw Book of Eli. We had so much fun chatting..an I hear the movie was great, too! I look forward to seeing it. Later that night I got some unexpected time with my friend, Judy. Was a nice surprise!

Today we stayed home from church and just enjoyed eachothers company in the peace and quiet of home. Then Chris and Ash went down for drama practice at 3. I took J to his LaCrosse lesson at 4. It was his first one, my brother is coaching him. He did really well! He's got a great coach :) Then we came home, made up some dinner and took it down to drama practice where we hung out till 9.

It's been a long weekend! But, a good one :)

It's cold, dark, and windy here.

Dieting is going fine. Can't wait till it's over. Nuff said.

Hope your weekend was spifftastic! Love you :)

Letter from a Missionary serving in Haiti

2010-01-15T11:13:00.002-07:00

My sister in law sent out this email, and update from Chelsea's Mom on their ongoing struggle to be reunited with their kids. For background on this, read my previous post asking for prayer for Haiti by clicking HERE.

Here is the note from the family:

Byron believes that our children need to be evacuated, if at all possible. I confess to being resistant to this.

Bodies are literally lining the streets, covered in sheets, many of them identified - but not all of them. As you know it is very warm in Haiti. This is a very bad combination, which will be made much worse if it begins to rain. The potential for spreading disease increases exponentially at this point. So, against my strongest desire, I am asking that you pray the embassy permits my children to be evacuated with Kelly Tobin.

FURTHER......please pray they issue an emergency visa so that Belle can fly with them. We do not have her passport as it was just turned into the Ministry of Immigration for the receipt of her new passport with our name. We have nothing. We are trying to work with the embassy - and have not been able to speak with a "real person" as of this moment.

JUST LEARNED that our tickets have been cancelled again. We do not know what to do.

Isabelle is the biggest, BIGGEST piece of this very difficult puzzle. We cannot leave her.

At present we have run out of options - ONLY GOD CAN PROVIDE ANSWERS, DIRECTION, A CLEAR PATH.

We really need a clear path.
---

**Also, here's my update on Gayle for today:

The doctors are allowing Gayle to go home today! She is still to be extremely careful, but they feel she is at a point where she can go home. If any infection arises, they will have to take the babies. So prayers are still needed!

Just a few days ago the doctors told her there was no hope and wanted to take the babies. She refused. And, today, praise GOD, she gets to go home. Our God is a good God! We pray for and believe with expectancy for her total healing and for the safety of the babies. NO INFECTION!!

I’ll let you know as I hear more.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Pray for the babies, help the Haitians

2010-01-15T00:08:00.004-07:00

I've asked for prayer through email for our friend, Gayle, who is pregnant with triplets and having medical issues. She is at high risk to develop infection which would be life threatening to both her and the babies. My Dad and her brother flew down today and prayed over her. She is filled with hope and got up without bleeding for the first time since this started. GOD IS GOOD! Please believe with us for a miracle. She is 20 weeks along, the docs say she needs to make it to 28 weeks for the babies to have a chance. Our God is so big and we know He can do all things. We're believing for the best possible outcome for Gayle and her 3 little unborn girls!

My brother and sister in law are going on a mission trip to Haiti..the place they are going has been directly affected by the recent earthquake. I thought I would include the letter she wrote today for you to read. If you are able to help, please do so! Feel free to pass the email along to others.

Hi everyone,

I’m sure that you all have heard about the devastating earthquake in Haiti. Many of you may also know that one of our students at The College of Idaho has family that lives there. They are missionaries with Heartline Ministries, a ministry that runs an orphanage and a women’s center. Everyone is ok, but their house and facilities have suffered some damage, and Chelsey’s parents were in the states at the time of the earthquake, meaning that they were apart from their 5 younger children at the time. They have secured tickets back to Haiti tomorrow, but I can’t imagine the anxiety they must feel from not being able to be together with their kids.

Much prayer is needed for Chelsey’s family, their ministry, and the country as a whole. The poorest country in the nation just got poorer, but fortunately all of us know that the hope of Christ cannot be destroyed.

Prior to this disaster, we were already planning to send a student team to Haiti during our spring break for a service trip. We are still planning on traveling down there in April.

I know that many of you are connected to home churches. If you feel lead to do so, we would love any support we could get for our trip that will ultimately benefit the ministry in Haiti. We are looking for donations such as clothing, toiletries, and medical supplies (specific items are listed below) that either Chelsey can take down with her when she can go home in the near future, or that our group can take down with us in April, but most helpful would be monetary donations. The estimated repair costs for the damage to the house is $30,000-50,000!

If you would like to donate directly to the Haitian ministry rather than go through the C of I, here is the website: http://heartlineministries.org/default.aspx

If you would like to donate to our trip, you can simply send a check to

Campus Ministries
2112 Cleveland Blvd.
Caldwell, ID 83605

*Make the check out to The College of Idaho and put Haiti in the memo area.

Items needed for donation:

Tuna fish
Peanut butter
Baby formula
Hand sanitizer
Bug spray
Good, sturdy sandals for kids of all ages
Clothing
Mac and cheese
Cold cereal
Lotion/baby wash
Bibs (heavy/large)
Plastic pants (that go over cloth diapers)
Crib/bed sheets

Thank you for all of your prayers and support!

----

Have a great night everyone! I will write a "real" blog on my little life next time. But, I feel these things are more important today. Love you!

Venting..Crying..Comforting..Biggest Loser..Fam update!

2010-01-12T18:54:00.003-07:00

So, I've wanted to write and vent and cry and laugh and whatever else would fit on that little rollercoaster. But I've refrained. For many reasons. Instead had private tears with friends, hubby and my Jesus. And..in doing that I realize that it was for the best. His joy truly comes in the morning. And, I'm thankful for that. Anyway, all is well..just forever changing. And we all know how I sometimes am less than enthusiastic about change..err..seasons. But, I'm getting better as the days go on! By force if nothing else. LOL!

I'm all into The Biggest Loser. Haven't watched the other seasons but this season is mine baby! 2nd episode comes on in just a few. Will watch it later with my good lookin hubby. Speaking of me and good looking hubby..we've decided to get even better looking LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I'm being a brat. But, really, I decided last night to lose weight. 25 pounds. Already lost the 7 I gained over Christmas. Anyhoo my friend and his wife are both losin weight and I got to talkin with his wife last night and thought..eh what the heck, I'll do it, and hubby was all for joining me! Cuz here's the thing. I'm happy with my body, most days. Even though it's less than what most would consider ideal. BUT, when I think of myself 5 years from now..10 years from now..I will no longer be happy with my body if it stays as it is now. So, I will lose weight. I want arms of steel and the legs of Sandra Bullock. However, I do not want to work out in the gym. So the arms part will not likely happen. I can make the legs happen though..well not just like hers but .. sheesh you get the idea. I wouldn't usually post this online, but I am anyway..so just in advance..please don't tell me "You've been losing weight!", "You really look great!" etc..because although you may think it's a compliment, all I hear is "Dang, you were UGLY before. Thank God you decided to take some of that lard off." So let's just focus on my insides and forget the outside. Plus, when people tell me those things, it makes me want to go eat 4 Big Macs and a tub of ice cream. I know, this is something I need to work on. And, I am. But, until I get the victory over it..just shh.

Ashley talks non stop. She's got so many stories and questions, etc. She never asked 4 million why's and how's and what if's when she was 2, so I guess I should take her questions now with joy! haha Really, I love her chatting with me. There are many parents who don't have that with their kids. I am blessed.

J runs non stop. No matter where he goes or what he's doing, he's running. It's sweet. Sometimes annoying, but sweet. Love hearing his little feet ~~pounding~~ pitter pattering around the house. Ok, he's not little. But, he's littler than me.

If you're watching Wheel of Fortune right now, the answer is: "Save room for dessert."

American Idol starts tonight. I had quit watching it I think about 2 seasons ago. Just couldn't deal with how cruel they are to people in the tryout portion of the show. Hurt my heart. But, Ellen is going to be one of the hosts this year, so I must watch. At least for awhile. And..for all of you Simon haters..I actually liked his input for the tryout-ers. It was Paula and Randy laughing mockingly and being condescending to them that chapped my ...

Well, I better go. Sure love you.

Until next time, I'll leave you with this:

There is a future for the man of peace because he takes refuge in Him.

*Psalm 37:39-40*

Friend tag things

2010-01-10T16:03:00.001-07:00

Hi! Ok, thanks to Rebekah over at Cowgirl for Jesus I am now active link smart! :) I remember someone had told me awhile back how to do it, but obviously I lost those instructions!

Anyway, Rebekah has awarded me with these special awards and so now it's my turn to post awards on my page :) (P.S. R, thanks for thinking I'm lovely :) )

The first one is:

Rules

1. Thank the person who gave the award.

2. Copy the award.

3. Post it on your blog.

4. Tell seven things about yourself that your readers don't know.

5. Link seven new bloggers as recipients.

6. Notify the winners with comments on their blogs.

7. Keep being awesome!

1. My eyes are very dry (yet watering..hmm) and burning right now. Ouch!

2. It frustrates me when the editing in shows is so raunchy that (reality tv including food network/hgtv, etc) that they show people with different clothes/hairstyles proving that the clips they've pieced together are from all different times..although they are trying to make you believe otherwise. Reality my butt.

3. I got a new bag the other day! It's technically a purse, but I can't call it that because I don't use it as a purse, because I don't like purses. But it holds my Bible case, and Bible Quiz binders, and water very nicely! Love it

4. We have a ton of DVD/BluRay's in the house. I've seen maybe 1/4 of them.

5. I'm pretty sure the act of folding and putting away laundry is straight from the playbook of the devil.

6. I love the smell of fresh cut grass, even though it makes me sneeze.

7. I love to house hunt. Even though I can't buy one, cuz I can't sell mine. I love to hunt. My husband hunts animals, I hunt homes.

I give this "Lovely Lady Lovely Blog" award to: (mine are not in any particular order..)

1. Jen

2. Tierney

3. Tiffany

4. Rebekah

5. Georgiann

6. Aurora

7. Laura

The second award:

The Lemonade Stand Award is awarded for being a blogger who shows great attitude and gratitude.

There are just a few rules for accepting this wonderful award:

- Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.

- Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude.

- Link the nominees within your post.

- Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

- Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

**Ok, so I nominate all of the same people I gave awards to in the first one! But, since this one asks for 10, here are the other 3 (again, in no particular order.).

Val

Robyn

My main squeeze, Chris (guys are allowed in this one, right?)

Ok, now this one is the link one. Also, from Rebekah (her link is up top, remember?)

Here are the rules:

1. Do quick post about the person that tagged you saying thanks

2. Answer the 10 questions

3.Tag 6 people

4. Follow 3 new blogs and list them

5. Challenge one person to do something fun or crazy

Here are the 10 questions:

1: Have you ever been to a rodeo?
Absolutely, nothin better than a Texas rodeo!

2: Have you ever tried to ride a cow?
Um, no.

3: Have you ever milked a cow or goat?
Nope.

4: Have you ever been to a Demolition Derby?
No, but I've thought about it!

5:

a:What is your favorite Country song?

Gotta go classic and say: Fancy

b: Who's the artist?
Reba!

6: Do you like to hunt?
houses

7: Have you ever cooked your breakfast over an open fire in your backyard?
Not in this one..cooked it in the front yard of one we lived in down in the North End, though.

8: Have you ever thought that the muck was shallow and when you stepped in it, you sank knee deep?
Not knee deep, but mid shin.

9: What is the hardest thing you have ever done?
Being a good and faithful servant, wife, and mommy is definitely the hardest thing I've done, and continue to do. But, the rewards are overwhelming!

10: (The question is optional) What's one of your most embarrassing moments?
My son (3 at the time I think) pooping in my friends daughters room and then my friend went in thinkin her dogs had done it..and well, you can imagine the rest. Horrible. HORRIBLE! Funny though.

For this I tag:

1. The followers of this blog!!

2. And anyone else who wants to do it!

I don't havea ny new blogs to follow right now..I don't read any without following so I have nothing new to follow without going out and finding them!

Happy Sunday :)

My baby turned 14, and Steven Segal is still on TV

2010-01-09T00:15:00.001-07:00

What a busy week! We had Ash's 14th bday party and then her friend spent the night. The party was soo loud, which isn't unusual, but it just seemed to hit a whole new octive (sp). My friend, Tierney reminded me "They're making memories." This made me reevaluate the "ITS SO LOUD IN HERE" comment. I then enjoyed the noise..for about 3 minutes. haha

The next day we all went out shopping. The girls got all that they "needed" and we got what were wanting too! Had a nice lunch and a subpar dinner..but we were together and that's what matters :) Our bedroom and bathroom are finally starting to come together. Can't decide if I will end up painting or not.

My friend invited us to to go the Governor's dinner and ball this weekend, would have been a blast but we don't possess any black tie affair clothing..nor the money to get it..nor the time to go. Can't wait to see the pictures though..hopefully she will get to sneek in some quality time with her sweet Daddy. That family has always been so loving and welcoming to me, just love 'em.

Tomorrow is J's last JBQ match of the "year", can you believe it!!! Crazy. I'm excited to get a break, but sad it's over. Not sure if he will continue on next "year" or not. We'll see. Chris and I will most likely continue to be involved. Ash hasn't decided yet either.

Went to clean the gym tonight with Jess. Todd won't be able to help her for quite awhile I think. So I'll fill in till he can. Doesn't seem like work when we're together though. We have so much fun laughing and laughing and laughing. Feels so good to laugh.

Well, it's super late and I'm super exhausted. Have a full weekend ahead of us, but that's not unusual :) I'm excited to get to sleep in a bit on Sunday morning since quiz is over! Ash still has to be there early..hmm..I wonder if she'd like to walk so we can all sleep in? Ok, you know I wouldn't allow that.

Oh, please pray for my friend Tiffany, she had her wisdom teeth pulled today! YEEOUCH!

BTW, I tried that new 5 layer burrito thingy at Taco Bell tonight. The commercials make it look disgusting, but it's not! SO YUMMY! Crunchwrap Supreme is still my fave, though.

I'm watching a Steven Segal movie..alone. Is that weird to anyone? LOL Ok bye.

Putting Christmas stuff away is overrated..are the Bronco's? No.

2010-01-04T16:55:00.001-07:00

So..I haven't put the Christmas stuff away. I have put all of the downstairs stuff on the couch in a pile. So it's at least moved. The tree and nativity set are still up, upstairs. The lights are still up outside and there is most likely a warning notice on the way from the HOA regarding the lights. Joy!

Had a great first day back at (home)school with J today. We laughed so hard.. He just cracks me up.

I made chili today, and homemade mac n cheese. Can't wait to eat! Well, I'm not in the mood for chili, but mac n cheese will be good. And it seems that I always make chili on a football game day..so why change now! Plus it lasts forever which cuts down on my cooking for the next few days!

BSU is playing in the Fiesta Bowl in about an hour from now. We will watch it at home. My bro and his wife were gonna maybe come over but ended up having to go elsewhere. So it will just be us at home. Which is actually ok. I'd love to have them here, but if they can't be here..this is the next best thing :)

Hope you've had a wonderful Monday!

2010-01-04T00:20:00.003-07:00

That is my most favorite picture from Christmas. Well actually I took it on Chris' birthday which is just a few days after Christmas. But, you get the idea.

What a day it was..Bible Quiz, Church, lunch with friends, nap, drama practice at church and then news that my best friends hubby fell from their attic down to the floor of their garage. Thank God he is ok. And he better not scare any of us like that again! He has a broken arm, a few broken ribs and a lot of bruising. Thanks to all of you who prayed for him tonight.

Tomorrow we all go back to work/school, except for Ash. Part of me is excited, part of me is sad to say goodbye to vacation! But, my goodness, I love my life. I'm sooo blessed. SO thankful for all that has been given.

It takes a whole lot of work not to give up on life when things look bleak. We can really muck things up on our own. But change is just a step away. Stepping into His grace is the easiest (and sometimes hardest!) thing to do. His arms are open and they never tire of picking us up.

Today I am reminded that blessings are all around us. Sometimes it takes a bit more looking around in order to find them. But..here's the thing. I think that when it takes us a bit longer to find them, it's not because they are small..or hidden..or few. It's because we've allowed our vision to be clouded. If we take off the blinders, the blessings are overwhelmingly abundant. We weren't created to live lives of mediocrity. Blinders stunt growth.

My ears have been fine tuned to the things people claim lately. Everywhere I go I hear it..stores, restaurants, get togethers, church, conversations (mine included), the mall..wherever..I hear it. Louder than I hear anything else. Sickness. Poverty. Depression. Hatred. All the things we claim over ourselves without even realizing it. We are what we eat. Truly. This week, listen to your words. Listen to everything that comes out of your mouth. Man it's a real eye opener. Let's speak life into ourselves and those around us! It's just a choice. May not feel it at first, but before you know it, things will begin to change. You don't have to be sick. You don't have to be in pain. You don't have to be poor..fat..angry..depressed..tired...lonely..blah blah blah..it's not required. It's all up to YOU. That's pretty dang freeing if you ask me. The enemy may put up a good fight, but we've got the victory in Jesus name. And no weapon formed against us will prosper. If you speak it, you give life to it. What are you speaking? What are you bringing to life?

Have a wonderful week. Love you bunches and am looking forward to being part of your life this year as we both grow in Him together.

2010-01-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

And, He hears the sound of my hearts cry...THE SUN IS OUT TODAY!!! I mean REALLY out. I mean it BLINDED me! MAGNIFICENT! Thank you, Father, for your many blessings!

2010-01-01T18:12:00.005-07:00

Well..I guess I'm in a funk. I keep coming here to my blog..but don't have much (if anything) to write about. I changed the layout hoping it would inspire me. Nope. It may have to do with the lack of sunshine. Winter absolutely sucks. I was determined to enjoy it this year. But, I'm not. I just want sun. I need it. Must have it. COME BACK!

No I don't have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I just like sun. And I hate it when it's not here. I tend to throw infantile fits over it. My house is already a bit dark so when it's winter time (or a rainy day in some other season) it's just waaaaay dark in here. I grew up in sunshine and have always lived in houses with a ton of windows allowing natural light in. Not this house though. Not sure why that is. It seemed light enough the day we came and picked it out. I've tried those special lights that are supposed to trick my brain into thinking it's sunny. My brain is too smart for that. It knows it's just a lightbulb. I know they help some, and that's great. Happy for you!

I made some delicious chicken enchiladas the other night. Finished them off today. Dang, they were good! Not sure what to have tonight..Chris keeps asking, but I just can't decide. I'm not real hungry..just real thirsty! And, I guess water isn't really food. hmm I wouldn't mind a huge salad with tons of fresh veggies added in and maybe some cranberries and grilled chicken..and avocados of course. Oh man that sounds delish. And a nice tall glass of iced tea. Yummy.

I've been buying these apples from Winco that are SO stinkin delicious you can't even begin to imagine. Crunchy and perfectly sweet and juicy. Man, they're good. They come from Washington. I can't remember if they are Fiji or Gala. I usually buy one of those kinds anyway (even though Jonathan is my fave) but this particular "brand" is divine.

Sick of sweets. I just don't want anymore. We had a lot of chocolate dipped fruit last night and that was delish. But, just straight sweets..I need a break! Just thought I'd share :)

Christmas stuff is still up. Will you please come take it down? Please? I just know that has to be SOMEONE's hobby!

School starts again for J and me on Monday. I'm excited. I've missed that time with him, even though it can get intense (I'm sure there is a better word than intense..just can't think of it right now). Anyway, I love how with homeschooling we both get vacations throughout the year. Ash doesn't go back for another week still.

How was your Christmas? How was your New Years? You already know about my Christmas from previous posts. Our New Years was great, though! We went and played games and ate lots of goodies with our friends. Was an easy, fun, laughter filled night. Then we came home and passed out..then got up and went to clean up at church at 7 from the Youth Lock In they'd had on New Years Eve. I expected to have to clean for hours but they had already done just about everything! We just had to vacuum and tidy up the chairs and kitchen. Blessing!! After that we came home and passed out again. We've been lazy all day.

J and Chris are coloring. We're watching Jingle All The Way..has Phil Hartman in it. That makes Chris sad. He loved Phil (he's passed away).

Well, I'm done blabbing for now. Love you guys :)

Here's a quote I love:

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore,
is not an act but a habit.
~Aristotle~

2009-12-27T22:23:00.004-07:00

Wow, what a Christmas! We had planned to stay the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve (not unusual) and then as time went on we kept adding in a day..we ended up going down there (to Boise, 30 min away) last Tuesday (22nd) and stayed all the way up to today, the 27th! We just couldn't make ourselves leave. It was a great time. We had SO much fun. Played Scrabble everyday..different people joined us for games over the week. We also played some other games with the family which were super fun! We watched movies, chatted, ate like royalty, played ping pong, the kids played with clay and made cookies with Mom, my dad set up a huge tent outside, J got in some LaCrosse time with my brother Jon, my sister in law came and cut and dyed Ashley's hair, Mom and I dyed our own hair...we just had an amazing time!!!

In the middle of our stay we had other things planned in town. We went over and helped make tamales on the 23rd and then went back over on Christmas Eve to eat them with Chris' Dads side of the family. Had a great time. Then, back home for Scrabble. :) Then the day after Christmas we went over to Chris' maternal Grandparents' house for a dinner and gifts. Was good to see everyone.

Then today we all went downtown to Brick Oven Bistro for Chris' birthday lunch, then back home to Mom n Dad's for cake. He had an awesome time! I think we will have cake for quite some time. And, that's ok with me. Just as long as it's gone by the next round of bdays which start early January.

It was sad to leave Mom n Dad's today. We were all feeling a bit bittersweet about it. It's always nice to come back and sleep in our own beds, but we have such a great time with them and being able to see my brothers, sils, niece and nephew, my Gramma and Uncle. We just don't get to see them very often, even though we only live 30 min away.

So, anyway, once we got home we unloaded everything and I took a nice hot shower. Then Chris' brother Dave and his family came over for our yearly gift exchange. It's just us..and that's the way we like it :) We get to wait until after all the hustle and bustle of the holiday is over and then just enjoy eachother. So, we ate lil smokies, drank coffee, visited and opened presents. The kids had so much fun playing. Then they went home, Ash went off to her friends' house and J barely made it up to bed in time..he just about fell alseep standing up. Hubby and I played a game of Scrabble (I dominated) and now we're just relaxing doing our own thing. Life is back to "normal". :)

Tomorrow is Chris' actual birthday. I'm making him a special breakfast in the morning and then taking him out for a movie, lunch and shopping after that. He's super excited :) We will see Sherlock Holmes. Can't wait for our date! We have a full slate.

Something amazing happened tonight. Sadie was sleeping by the couch and Greta walked up to her and layed down snuggling into Sadies neck. AND SADIE DIDN'T JUMP UP AND LEAVE!!!! Chris and I were so excited we couldn't even stand it. I ran downstairs for the camera and took quite a few pics. It only lasted about 5 minutes (maybe because of the non stop flashing of the camera in their eyes), but we have hope now that one day Sadie will love her baby sis. Ahh...dogs.

In the middle of Scrabble tonight I got a call from our friend Tierney. She told me that she got engaged tonight! We are so thrilled for her and Michael. We have permagrin. They are just the sweetest couple and one that we have no doubt will last forever. They are absolutely perfect for eachother.

Well, I hope your Christmas was just as spectacular as ours..and that you found many reasons to be joyful. But that most of all, that you remembered the true meaning of it all..Jesus! He is so faithful. Tonight, my cup runneth over.