Saturday, July 4, 2009

Ok..my friend Jen blogged today so I feel that I must follow suit. Truth is I've been thinkin about you guys a lot lately, just haven't had the energy to regurgitate my days onto cyber paper.

Our friend Lani is in town for the weekend, we got to spend time with her, her 2 kiddies and her Mom last night. Had a lot of fun. We can be apart for years but it's like no time has passed. I miss my friend :( It was sad to say goodbye last night. Heart was heavy. *sigh*

There is still no A/C at work. Was 93* in there yesterday. 'Nuff said. Really. You don't want me to go there. It's not safe. I'd have to duct tape my brain in place so it didn't explode all over you if I even dared elaborate any more on the A/C..or lack there of.

Today is the 4th of July and I can't help but think of how long and hard people fight for our freedom, and sometimes at a significant cost. Whether in uniform or just the average Joe making a difference in his state, city, town, neighborhood, family. I appreciate you!

We're all fighting for something whether we realize it or not. In every decision we make, we are fighting for a freedom. Which freedom are you fighting for at this moment? Is it something that truly deserves freedom? Or should there maybe be a re-evaluation? Do we really want to "free" all that we desire? And, more importantly, are our desires for certain freedoms aligned with His Word? Just thoughts I have...

The house is a flippin disaster. Late at night, or I should say very early in the morning..I think, I need to get this place spiffed up! And I make all these plans in my head and get all excited. To the point where I almost decide sleep is overrated and jump out of bed to conquer! But I don't. And then by the time I wake up the next morning, the desire has turned into dread. I know..dread not. And, yep, I've read the book.

Miss my husband. He's down at the fireworks booth. He loves to be there. That's fine. I just miss him.

We tend to get very busy. It's always been this way. Every moment is filled with something..a commitment..something fun..something not so fun..etc. But there is always something. I'm at the point right now where I want to erase the whiteboard of commitments in my head and enjoy a day where I can blissfully enjoy peace and quiet. I know..I can enjoy that even when the storm rages around me. But I want a day where it's quiet and the birds sing and the iced tea is sitting near me..the sun is softly shining down as I leisurely read a book. My kids are laying in the grass looking at the clouds with the Dog and my husband is cuddled next to me in the hammock. This is the place I go to when everything overwhelms. I spend a lot of time there lately. (Oh and by the way in my "happy place" we are on a sprawling 400 acre piece of breathtaking land..and there are daisies growing randomly everywhere..I could go on.)

Life is good..always good. Even when it's sprinkled with dung, it's good. Things are challenging. But I remind myself often that Life is change, growth is optional. That God has me here in this very moment, in this very spot, for a reason. And it's a good reason. And instead of day dreaming of where I want to be, I should enjoy where He has me at this very instant..learn..absorb..grow. Chances are if we are in a spot where we don't want to be, there is a lesson to be learned. And until we submit to the refining, the work will never be finished. Before we know it we will be in the desert for 40 years. I don't want that.

Listening to Kari Jobe's version of The More I Seek You. It's my favorite version. I love her voice.

I have a goal..I know, go figure. Sometimes I think I'm the queen of goals. But, hey, how else can you reach a goal?? You can't make cookies if you refuse to make (or in some cases buy ;) ) the dough! Anyway. My goal..which is unreachable on my own (which is my favorite kind) is to be able to stay home full time with my family by the time the kids finish the next summer break. So by the time they finish this coming school year and then the summer vacation after that. What would that be..umm September 2010. This is approximately a full year BEFORE we will be debt free, according to the charts. This is impossible by the standards we are living in now. So, I'm just asking for your prayers and your agreement in this. We want to home school the kids and working makes that difficult. Not impossible by any means, but difficult. And not the best scenario. But, I know that with Him all things are possible.

My niece turns 1 tomorrow. Wow how time flies! I hope to have more time with her in the coming year. I've been all but cut out of my other niece and nephews' lives and I hate it. I don't want that for Monet. I want to be her favorite Auntie!!

Do I sound mopey today? I'm not. Not really. I feel pretty joyful actually! I just have a lot of sound bytes running through my head today. This is what happens when I have a quiet morning to think, and when I finally sit down to blog. Voila! NOVEL! :) I am PMS'ing..so really it's a roller coaster. But we've all been on this ride together before, so this should be no surprise to you ;)

I love you. I love the parts of you that you're scared to show. I love the growth potential in you that you fear to water. I love your smile. I love your hugs. I love your moments of inspiration and pray you let those moments multiply. Don't waste your life. You weren't created to go to waste. You were created to thrive! So show the beauty you're hiding..water the potential and drown out the fear. You are worth the effort! How do I know? I know, because I've met your Father..and in His book he speaks very, very highly of you ;) Rumor has it that His banner over you proclaims "LOVE!" to the world. Yep, you're pretty special.

Take care of yourself. We'll chat soon. ((hugs))

4 comments:

  1. Sometimes I just don't know how that cute little head of yours can be juggling so many things at once, but I sure do love you and everything you do. You're the best wife and friend a dude like me could hope for!

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  2. Good to hear from you, girlie-girl! I've missed those crazy/beautiful/random/deep thoughts you share. Oh, and I agree with Chris - you are awesome for your family... and I'm including myself in on that! Love ya.

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  3. Chris: What do you think the chances of a guy like me and a girl like you...
    haha

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