Still in my season of silence..it's hard. It's hard to be quiet. And it's hard to hear the things I hear because of the silence. Somehow words aren't just words anymore. But, I can't offer anything but silence in most cases. The tears are always just a breath away, though. Not tears of sadness necessarily, although there are those too. Just tears that come with deeper understanding.
What has been especially hard is when someone says something that I SO want to respond to, it's like the Lord wipes my brain of any coherent words to offer. Leaving me with only the ability to listen. I find myself saying "hmm" a lot in conversations. Not because I really want to, but because the Lord is teaching me something in listening beyond the words. In listening for what HIS response is to the words being said, even if I'm not to share them with others. Maybe none of this makes sense to any of you. But maybe it does.
I also find myself asking, "Why, Father?" a lot. And in all different contexts. The answer comes quickly and clearly. "Everything that can be shaken will be shaken, daughter. Focus on Me, just Me." Sometimes I say, "Not now." And then I wish I hadn't. Other times I say, "Ok, Daddy." And in that moment of sheer obedience, even as the storm rages around me, I find peace beyond understanding. And I find rest, knowing that when all else fades (and it will), He will still be.
It's not time to have wandering eyes. It's time for our eyes to be firmly focused on Him. The enemy is hot in pursuit of anything it can get a hold of. Don't be deceived. Not everything is as it seems. As I've said before, just because something's changed doesn't mean anything is different. Sometimes it's just a new dress covering up the same old festering wound.
We were watching the season finale of Chuck last night and one of the characters said, "I don't want a brain bath..I want the truth." I couldn't have said it better.
Seek healing. It's yours. Seek truth. It's yours.
Check this passage out when you have a minute: Philipians 4 <-- click there. :)
Love you. We'll chat soon..