I just needed to get that out.
Well we are in the middle of week 3 of homeschooling. I'm not tired of it yet. In fact I'm growing to love it more everyday. We just have so much fun together. Thursday we have a field trip to a movie theater to find out the inner workings of a theater. Kind of fun.
Went to my friends Pampered Chef party tonight. It was so nice and relaxed and fun. And the food was great! Love it when parties go like that. The ones filled with awkward silent moments are always, well, awkward. Not the case tonight. ahhh refreshing :)
I'm working on editing pics from this last weekends JBQ meet and Shoshone Falls visit. But it's slow going. I just don't have a whole lot of energy or desire left over at the end of the day to sit and edit pictures for hours.
Read Hosea last night. There is a scripture in there that I LOVED. It is:
Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, break up your unplowed ground. For it's time to seek Him until He comes & showers righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12
In the next chaper it talks about how many things God did for Isreal..all of the provision, the grace, the help, etc..and then here in this first line in 11:7 (Hosea) that says: "My people are determined to turn from me."
As a Mom who had had moments of insanity the past few days, and as a wife who had moments of hurt feelings yesterday (PMSing doesn't help)..and chose to dwell on them instead of let them go, this verse hit me hard. My family didn't turn away from me..but I was nursing my hurt feelings. And in that sentence I realized how the Father feels when I choose something over him. When, essentially, I turn from Him to another. No matter what amazing things He has done for me, and no matter how much I love Him for it, I turn. I turn. I turn. And I'm not the only one. The passage doesn't say "Sarah is determined to turn away from me." It says MY PEOPLE.
Every morning I have devotional time with Jaden before we start school. Then most every night Chris and I read a Psalm together. But I've been feeling the Lord tugging at my heart that I need more. More time with Him. Alone time. Admittedly, much like the editing of my pictures..by the time I have "time" to sit down and do "nothing", I have little energy and/or desire to dive into a personal Bible study.
This last week as soon as I go in to lay in bed I hear Him say, "Please spend time with Me." I know He means in the Word. But, instead I pray and drift of to sleep..as if to pacify Him. Well, He's not pacified. He's not entertained. He's not had the wool pulled over His eyes. He's hurt. Because, again, He has blessed me beyond measure..and again, I turn. So, last night I decided to turn AROUND. To REturn. And as I prayed that He would reveal Himself to me in His Word, He did just that. He is always faithful. When I found that first verse (10:12) it just popped off the page like a neon light. It's not time for me to be tired or to sleep. It's time for me to SEEK, and to break up my unplowed ground. It's time to grow. It's time for me to gain understanding, and wisdom. And there is only one place I can find that. Anyway, I wasn't going to share that but it came out..so there you have it. :)
Don't turn away from Him. He loves you. He so wants to spend time with you and love on you. When you've had a day of hurt and confusion and frustration, don't turn to something else to soothe you. Turn to Him. He longs to soothe every pain you have. Don't wiggle in His arms, instead rest. Just rest. You don't have to explain. You don't have to even say a word. He already knows. Just let Him love you through it. There is no better salve for your wounds than the love of Jesus Christ. So let Him heal you. You don't have to beg. You just have to allow. In His arms there is safety beyond compare. Just let go.
And on the good days, He is the best dancing partner around! He's so excited to hear your joys, your triumphs. He adores every hair on your head. His banner over you proclaims LOVE!! You are the apple of His eye.