Saturday, March 28, 2009

We got up and got ready for Ashley's competition today. I finished getting ready so I went in to take J's temp and help him with his clothes. His temp was gone, we were excited I told him, "good job!" He said, thanks and that his head still hurt. I picked out a shirt and turned to look at him and he said he felt like he was going to throw up..and his face was transparent, lips blue. Crap. I tell him to go the bathroom then. So off he goes..and off Chris and Ash go to the competition, leaving J and I behind. I tell them maybe I can drive down and see Ash's 2 performances with J and then leave. Hoping he'll feel better in an hour or so. They left at 7:45 and her performances were at 9:38 and 10:49 (or something like that) and only lasted a few minutes each. So we could get there watch everything and be back home for him to rest again in an hours time. But, he was still dry heaving at 9:20 when we would have had to leave for the first performance, and then sleeping heavily when we would have had to leave for the second performance. No need to tell you I spent most of the morning crying (is it still morning?). Poor J looked absolutely HORRIBLE, there was no way I would have been able to drag him down there, and I knew that. Mom's can't be two places at once, I realize that. But 99.9% of the time I somehow figure out how to accomplish being two places at once anyway. Not this time. I can't believe I missed it. I just can't believe it.

I'm still congested and sound horrible. J just came down and asked for more food, he finished his cheerios. How is it that when the babies are sick they somehow instantly lose all of their body weight and muscle? Poor kid looked like he hadn't been fed in weeks. I told him lets wait for a little bit and then we'll try some more food. Thankfully, at least if he's still sick tomorrow night we can still go to church. We can just set him up somewhere where he can lay down and rest. But I hope that won't be the case.

Anyway, Chris has texted a few times throughout the day and they are having a blast. He said our teams did AMAZING. So proud of them. And, I'm so happy he's getting to do what he loves again in teaching/being part of a drama team. He's really missed that. And, the kids all seem to absolutely adore him. Then again, what's not to adore :)

I'm making a big turkey dinner for Chris and Ash..and peach cobbler for dessert. My recent attempts (and by recent I mean the last 3 years) in the kitchen have been abysmal, but I'm hoping today will be different. Please, God, throw me a bone! :)

I'm listening to Jason Upton..I know, big surprise. But, it was "funny" cuz I sat down and "You Are Not Alone" came on (on my playlist if you want to/need to hear it, too (: ). Hmm fitting, I think. Thank you, Father. When people let us down, when life lets us down..You are always there to remind us that we are NEVER alone.

I am crazy in love with my dog. She drives me nuts. But I truly can't tell you how much joy she brings to my life. She never leaves. Never.

The sun is out today and it's beautiful. Not too cold, although not warm enough to sit in the sun. But it's nice to have the light in my home. It's been such a long, dark and dreary winter. It's been one of the hardest winters for me yet. I really, really, really had to fight to stay above water. So, I'm very thankful for the sunshine today. I'll take it as a gift :) Because, it is.

I hope that whatever you are doing today, that you remember to look up and out of your circumstances and try to view the big picture. Our lives are a quilt, and a beautiful one. With all different hues and shapes and stitching. Every moment is a square, what squares will you add today?

There's this little line at the end of Habakkuk that says: "For the director of music. On my stringed instruments." This is not an unusual ending, it's given in other parts of the Bible as well. But Habakkuk writes in this book of his struggles to understand why God does what He does, and allows what He's a great dialogue..and in the end he comes to the conclusion that he can, no matter the circumstance, trust God with and through ever circumstance. And for some reason as I was reading it one day those last few words just popped at me and I started to think...I am a stringed instrument..what music am I playing? WHO's music am I playing..and who am I allowing to be MY Director?.... Just before the last line, the clump of scriptures are:

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.


I have written in my Bible all over this page:

"I will play for you Lord, the song You want to hear, strum my strings & I will sing Your song forever. To be Your instrument is my greatest desire. I am Yours.

Though the song He's playing may sound sad now, it's still beautiful. Your cheerful song is coming. All of His music is beautiful when the instrument is willing. Be willing to play His tune for Him.

I want the song of my life to be remembered lovely & pure, for that to happen I must let the Master play me.

Rejoice - The Lord is doing something - your harvest is coming, AND, it won't be even a second late!"


On days like today, and winters like this winter, and months like this when finances are weak at best, and years like these when everything is unsure, I look back at this page in my Bible and remember that no matter WHAT, I CAN rejoice and I CAN be assured that the song/quilt being written/sewn for me by the Master is beautiful, and has purpose. I need not try to write my own music, or patch together my own quilt. Because the Master has offered to do it for me, if I will allow Him. Why settle for an amateurs work, when you can have the Masters? Here's to soaring on the notes of my lifesong, and appreciating the beauty of my lifequilt.

I love you always and forever..but you know that :)

P.S. Just in case you're wondering..I like to imagine myself to be a cello...resting upon the chest of the Savior while He wraps his arms around me and plays my heartstrings. :)

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