Another week done, and the weekend is, too. It was a long one! Trying to think back on all that happened I just mostly have a whir of shapes and colors. I think it was a good one..but one can't be entirely sure! haha
I've had 2 meltdown moments with this diet so far. I didn't "fall of the wagon". But, as many of you know, losing weight isn't about losing the weight. It's a mental game. And the winning or losing comes in whether or not you allow yourself to grow through the experience thus causing true change..or if you just lose the physical weight but keep the emotional weight. I'm opting for the growth..the winning. But, in that, the loss of control is no good. I can see it both ways though. My flesh man is losing control. But my spirit man is gaining control. This is where I want to be. But dying to self/flesh is a daily (sometimes minutely) task. And there have been 2 nights where I just wanted to shove food in my mouth till I felt so sick that I had shown my body who is real boss..that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. And if it involves more food than any human should eat in one sitting (or 4), then sobeit. I've always said..I'm like a bulemic..only without the purging part. And I always laughed about it. But, it's really not all that funny. I know WHY I am this way. So in that I have kind of an advantage. I've been workin on it for awhile now..and as I've become more open, the Lord has revealed to me many instances that have shaped me into the person I am now as far as food goes. Now, it's just the process of healing those wounds (which were twisted..the words said by others were in no way wounding. I just twisted them until they were.) and growing spiritually while shrinking physically :) I've realized, as with most things, the more open I am with it, the less hesitant I am to talk about it with people. And, that's a big step :) I've had quite a few people tell me over the past few weeks that I do not need to lose weight, etc. Which is usually my line to other people. But..it's more about my insides than my outside. And, the big news there is..even with people telling me that I am skinny, thin, not in need of weight loss...I haven't had the usual overcoming need to then go shove my face full of food until I feel that no one will call me skinny anymore. So..growth! Yay :) Anyway..that's the update for now..
Oh, and I'm absolutely LOVING The Biggest Loser! This is my first season really watching. Are any of you watching?
Jaden is looking through 3 huge bags of hand-me-downs from is friends. He's found a white dress shirt that he loves. He says, "OH YES! It's a James Bond shirt!!" And now that he has it on he just told me, "There we go! Now, I'm James Bond! See? (I say, looks good!) I like it." He's so cute. We got him a belt yesterday and this morning as he was getting ready for church I hear him ask Chris, "Hey, Daddy? How do you dress so that your belt shows?" Yesterday he told us the things he's come up with so far for his Birthday wish list. First item: more Levi's. Second item: money so that he can buy a pretzel at Target. Third item: a DSI. I told him the third request is out. Chris offered to just buy him a pretzel but NO. J is VERY firm on this. He ONLY wants the money. He MUST buy it on his own. :)
I haven't seen Ash enough to know any cool stories she may have. But she is getting very good at jumping over the gate we have blocking off the hallway (from the dogs) like a Gazelle. She likes us to watch as she does this. She is also going to start doing Tae Bo with Chris and I. She's all excited. Wants us to get the Hip Hop version..we might. If we do, then J will join us, too.
On tonights menu, Pasta e Fagioli with salad and a balsamic vinagrette dressing.
Have a great rest of your Sunday. Love you much! One more thing..we were going over 2 Chronicles 20 in church today. And my favorite part is the part that is in Jason Upton's song, he says, "I don't know what to do, I don't even have a clue. But my eyes are on you Lord." Here aee the snippets of my fave section:
...We have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
...Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "
...As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.
...The fear of God came upon all the kingdoms of the countries when they heard how the LORD had fought against the enemies of Israel. 30 And the kingdom of Jehoshaphat was at peace, for his God had given him rest on every side.
Isn't that awesome! Even when our lives are downright scary and the enemy is encamped around us (bills, naysayers, gossips, liars, etc) we can have faith that our God will take care of us. We just need to fix our eyes on Him, and follow His leading. We must sing and praise! He left not even ONE enemy standing. Every single one was defeated. And then, when He has won the battle, He floods us with His Holy REST on EVERY side. His requirements? That we are READY and in POSITION! He commands us to NOT be discouraged, to NOT give into fear. For if we are truly ready and in position, we will be in Him. And in HIM, discouragement and fear cannot exist. If you are praising and singing, there is little room for outside influence. Because your focus is on HIM! Yahoo!